IELTS Task 2 Writing The gap between the rich and the poor is becoming wider; the rich are becoming richer and the poor are even getting poorer. What problems can the situation cause? What can be done to reduce this gap? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.
From the beginning of the
world
the wealthy and needy Add a comma
world,
people
have been found division. This
division has increasingly
rapidly and creating problems. The low income is gotten by a Replace the word
increased
lay
Correct your spelling
layman
man
and became
lower , Wrong verb form
becomes
however
, a
huge capital is gathered by an affluent and made a Remove the article
apply
privileg
Correct your spelling
privilege
privileged
man
in the eyes of the world. The main issue of not cash flow in the world so the rich people
are becoming rich and the poor remains
low. Correct subject-verb agreement
remain
This
essay will discuss
in the following paragraphs.
In the contemporary time, Wrong verb form
be discussed
the
wealth is circulated in the hands of Correct article usage
apply
privilege
Replace the word
privileged
people
. Some of them are
not like to disclose their assets and hide from the country. Verb problem
do
Besides
this
, living in their homelands
many of them are not payed
Correct your spelling
paid
taxes
which cause
the cash flow. To illustrate, in my country Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
mostly
Correct your spelling
most
people
are not paying taxes
which are creating problem
so the government has taken a step to collect data for Add an article
a problem
Add an article
the non
non tax
payer. The politicians are becoming rich Add a hyphen
non-tax
due to
the government's facilities and they are also
looting from it. Although
, they Correct word choice
However
are become
Change to the active voice
become
have become
privilege
Replace the word
privileged
man
which are controlling
the authority and Wrong verb form
control
making
illegal Wrong verb form
make
money
on their seats. Moreover
, the bank balance is increased by their illegal money
. The assets are sent to other countries to enhance their balance. They are open offshore companies which protect their income so they do not pay taxes
.
Therefore
, the poor remain poorer and rich man
becomes rich.
Apart from that, the solutions are there to minimize this
gap between a wealthy and poor society. The local government should gather taxes
on the high income
Add a hyphen
high-income
people
and impose the fine on them. It is also
can
possible if the authority Verb problem
apply
reduce
the facility to their employees and Change the verb form
reduces
collect
Correct subject-verb agreement
collects
this
money
for funds so it will give to the poor people
. Consequently
, the gap between rich and poor can shorter
.
In a nutshell, the difference between the poor and rich person has gone high and the inflation rate is higher. The gap Add a missing verb
be shorter
of
Change preposition
between
needy
and rich Correct article usage
the needy
community
is hiding Fix the agreement mistake
communities
money
and making assets. In my opinion, the
rich pupils should circulate their cash and the administration Correct article usage
apply
also
impose fine
on them.Replace the word
fines
Submitted by mobinadurrani43 on
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Introduction/Conclusion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion which are essential components of a well-structured IELTS essay.
Cohesive Devices/Logical Sequence
There is minimal use of cohesive devices and the information presented lacks a logical sequence which makes it difficult to follow.
Support/Main Points
Main points are not clearly supported with explanations or relevant examples, making it hard to understand the arguments presented.
Task Response
Your essay must address all parts of the task to meet the criteria for a higher band score. In this case, there seems to be an incomplete response to the prompts given.
Idea Development/Specific Examples
Develop your main ideas more fully with clear explanation and more specific examples to meet the task requirements and improve your score.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
