Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some individuals support the opinion that travelling or working in a foreign country
are
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is
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just purpose as to studying a not native
language
who will be learnt ,
while
others argue that everyone should discover
distrinctive
Correct your spelling
distinctive
tongue from their mother tongue in that there are lots of causes among to
acquicision
Correct your spelling
acquisition
a job or to get about some new places.
Although
the amount of
people
who learn other languages since getting a profession or visiting somewhere is new,which are the
solely
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sole
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targets
demostrates
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demonstrates
an increase,I believe that the latter statement is the appropriate and self-evident one. On the one hand,in
contemporary
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the contemporary
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world,the most significant point is luxurious conditions for maintaining
to
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apply
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the
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apply
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life so that when
people
want to leave
from
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apply
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their current nation,they
apply
Verb problem
apply
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quickly
learning
Wrong verb form
learn
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language
Add an article
a language
the language
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in order to alter their location.Particularly,lots of job opportunities which consist of high salary
option
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options
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present convenience about
power
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the power
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of
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the economical
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economical
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economic
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situation.
For example
,most
of
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apply
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nurses
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the nurses
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in my country are studying
English
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the English
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language
at
the
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apply
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present since they are
unwillingly
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unwilling
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to work
in
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apply
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here with bad consequences and not
to
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apply
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travel to new fields.
Although
these reasons are widespread among nurses
or
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and
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the
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apply
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other professions ,
this
occasion is created only by unimproved countries.
On the other hand
,there are lots of reasons
about
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for
show examples
learning a foreign
language
by these individuals
such
as
appetite
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the appetite
show examples
of
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to
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see as to
distrinctive
Correct your spelling
distinctive
traditionals
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traditions
and cultures ,understanding
whatelse
Correct your spelling
what else
communication ways as having freedom by creating
a
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apply
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contact with the others.
To be
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To
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learnt
Correct your spelling
learn
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a new
language
and
be used
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use
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it
help help
Verb problem
apply
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to
feel having
Wrong verb form
have
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an awareness of capability and be confident.
Furthermore
,they can cause
reconcilation
Correct your spelling
reconciliation
between
people
's
physchology
Correct your spelling
psychology
and themselves.In evident recent studies experienced that
people
who want to know
entellectual
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intellectual
aspects by considering a foreign
language
are more successful and creative rather than that who have not
only
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only to
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aim
instead
of work and travel because of earning money and spent money on something .Inasmuch as
,
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apply
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I believe that there should be other purposes for learning a new
language
than a single aim. In conclusion,
although
beinga
Correct your spelling
I
belief
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believe
show examples
about
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that
show examples
learning a foreign
language
for just work and travel ,I believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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other notions should
be existed
Change to the active voice
exist
have existed
show examples
.
Submitted by sapphire  on

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Introduction
Ensure that the introduction sets a clear framework for the discussion that is to follow, clearly presenting the two views and your own stance. In this essay, the introduction is somewhat convoluted and does not effectively establish the context or preview the structure of the essay.
Logical Structure
Use clear and logical structure throughout the essay, with body paragraphs that each focus on a single main idea. Support these ideas with relevant examples and explanations. This essay lacks clear topic sentences and logical progression from sentence to sentence and paragraph to paragraph.
Conclusion
Include a conclusion that effectively summarizes the key points made throughout the essay and restates your own position. The conclusion should reflect upon what has been discussed and provide a clear final stance. The conclusion in this essay does not effectively encapsulate the discussion nor does it evidently restate the personal viewpoint.
Task Achievement
To achieve a higher score in task response, a candidate must thoroughly answer all parts of the prompt, including discussing both views and providing a clear personal opinion. Integrate specific examples to strengthen arguments and show practical applications of the points being made. In this essay, the task is somewhat addressed, but examples are lacking, and the ideas presented are not always clearly or comprehensively expressed.
Cohesion
Develop paragraphs with a clear central topic, and use cohesive devices appropriately to help structure the argument and connect ideas. This essay contains several instances of poor cohesion, with abrupt or unclear transitions between points. Vocabulary should be appropriate and varied, but be cautious with overusing complex structures or vocabulary as it can impede rather than enhance communication.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • multilingual
  • linguistic proficiency
  • globalized world
  • cross-cultural communication
  • immersive experience
  • adaptability
  • cultural exchange
  • interpersonal skills
  • employment prospects
  • empathy
  • intellectual development
  • overcome language barriers
  • global market
  • resourceful
  • life-changing
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