IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Some individuals support the opinion that travelling or working in a foreign country
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 just purpose as to studying a not native
language
Use synonyms
 who will be learnt ,
while
Linking Words
 others argue that everyone should discover
distrinctive
Correct your spelling
distinctive
 tongue from their mother tongue in that there are lots of causes among to
acquicision
Correct your spelling
acquisition
 a job or to get about some new places.
Although
Linking Words
 the amount of
people
Use synonyms
 who learn other languages since getting a profession or visiting somewhere is new,which are the
solely
Change the word
sole
show examples
 targets
demostrates
Correct your spelling
demonstrates
 an increase,I believe that the latter statement is the appropriate and self-evident one. On the one hand,in
contemporary
Add an article
the contemporary
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 world,the most significant point is luxurious conditions for maintaining
to
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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life so that when
people
Use synonyms
 want to leave
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their current nation,they
apply
Verb problem
apply
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quickly
learning
Wrong verb form
learn
show examples
Use synonyms
language
Add an article
a language
the language
show examples
 in order to alter their location.Particularly,lots of job opportunities which consist of high salary
option
Fix the agreement mistake
options
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 present convenience about
power
Add an article
the power
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 of
Add an article
the economical
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economical
Replace the word
economic
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 situation.
For example
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,most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nurses
Add an article
the nurses
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 in my country are studying
English
Change the article
the English
show examples
language
Use synonyms
 at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
present since they are
unwillingly
Replace the adverb
unwilling
show examples
 to work
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
here with bad consequences and not
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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travel to new fields.
Although
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 these reasons are widespread among nurses
or
Correct word choice
and
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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other professions ,
this
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 occasion is created only by unimproved countries.
On the other hand
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,there are lots of reasons
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
 learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 by these individuals
such
Linking Words
 as
appetite
Correct article usage
the appetite
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
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 see as to
distrinctive
Correct your spelling
distinctive
traditionals
Correct your spelling
traditions
 and cultures ,understanding
whatelse
Correct your spelling
what else
 communication ways as having freedom by creating
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
contact with the others.
To be
Change the verb form
To
show examples
learnt
Correct your spelling
learn
show examples
 a new
language
Use synonyms
 and
be used
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 it
help help
Verb problem
apply
show examples
to
feel having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 an awareness of capability and be confident.
Furthermore
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,they can cause
reconcilation
Correct your spelling
reconciliation
 between
people
Use synonyms
's
physchology
Correct your spelling
psychology
 and themselves.In evident recent studies experienced that
people
Use synonyms
 who want to know
entellectual
Correct your spelling
intellectual
 aspects by considering a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 are more successful and creative rather than that who have not
only
Add the particle
only to
show examples
 aim
instead
Linking Words
 of work and travel because of earning money and spent money on something .Inasmuch as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
I believe that there should be other purposes for learning a new
language
Use synonyms
 than a single aim. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
beinga
Correct your spelling
I
belief
Replace the word
believe
show examples
about
Change preposition
that
show examples
 learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 for just work and travel ,I believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other notions should
be existed
Change to the active voice
exist
have existed
show examples
.

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Introduction
Ensure that the introduction sets a clear framework for the discussion that is to follow, clearly presenting the two views and your own stance. In this essay, the introduction is somewhat convoluted and does not effectively establish the context or preview the structure of the essay.
Logical Structure
Use clear and logical structure throughout the essay, with body paragraphs that each focus on a single main idea. Support these ideas with relevant examples and explanations. This essay lacks clear topic sentences and logical progression from sentence to sentence and paragraph to paragraph.
Conclusion
Include a conclusion that effectively summarizes the key points made throughout the essay and restates your own position. The conclusion should reflect upon what has been discussed and provide a clear final stance. The conclusion in this essay does not effectively encapsulate the discussion nor does it evidently restate the personal viewpoint.
Task Achievement
To achieve a higher score in task response, a candidate must thoroughly answer all parts of the prompt, including discussing both views and providing a clear personal opinion. Integrate specific examples to strengthen arguments and show practical applications of the points being made. In this essay, the task is somewhat addressed, but examples are lacking, and the ideas presented are not always clearly or comprehensively expressed.
Cohesion
Develop paragraphs with a clear central topic, and use cohesive devices appropriately to help structure the argument and connect ideas. This essay contains several instances of poor cohesion, with abrupt or unclear transitions between points. Vocabulary should be appropriate and varied, but be cautious with overusing complex structures or vocabulary as it can impede rather than enhance communication.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • multilingual
  • linguistic proficiency
  • globalized world
  • cross-cultural communication
  • immersive experience
  • adaptability
  • cultural exchange
  • interpersonal skills
  • employment prospects
  • empathy
  • intellectual development
  • overcome language barriers
  • global market
  • resourceful
  • life-changing
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