In recent times, economic growth has helped many become richer, both in developed and developing countries. However, those in developed countries are not as happy as they were in the past. Why is this? What can be learned from this? (Write 250 words.)

#times #growth #countries

Many

people

in the world want to be wealthy. They take

time

to work and develop their

country

for a good

life

and facilities.

That is

the reason in the present

time

there is much economic growth. And

then

after economic growth that gives

people

life

easier and richer than

the

Change preposition

in the

show examples

past. But sometimes so much money does not mean a good

life

. It has two main reasons that I think about the paragraph below. First of all,

people

must know the meaning of happiness. Happiness is something that you live with no stress and can take

time

for yourself. If you have a lot of money but you lose your

work

Add a hyphen

work-life

show examples

life

balance, I think that you will be sad and stressed. Thailand has a good lesson that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

king

Capitalize word

King

show examples

Rama 9 gave to his

people

a long

time

ago. The lesson is

stay

Fix the infinitive

to stay

show examples

with the salary that you have and not use more than

this

for something that you must not have.

Secondly

, in a developed

country

people

must work hard to develop their

country

in the same way as a government project. And after

that

Add a comma

that,

show examples

the economy of their

country

gets bigger and bigger.

Then

after their economy has developed, workers must have improved their

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

to develop their own

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

or their

country

again and again. That means the start of a vicious cycle. In summary, I think that the reason why economic growth helps many

people

become richer but they are not as happy as in the past is that it has driven

people

to have more responsibilities and stress in their job. Of all the reasons above, we can learn wealth does not mean happiness.

Submitted by writersdiary101 on Mon Nov 27 2023

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task achievement

Ensure the introduction clearly presents the topic and your thesis statement. Expand on how wealth does not equate to happiness, clarifying this in the conclusion.

coherence cohesion

The essay would benefit from a more logical flow, connecting ideas and paragraphs seamlessly. Consider using linking words and clear topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs.

task achievement

Effective use of examples and more detailed explanation can strengthen your main points. Provide specific instances or data to back up your claims.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

281 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Economic growth
Material wealth
Affluent societies
Social cohesion
Isolation and loneliness
Work-related stress
Professional expectations
Aspirations and reality
Environmental degradation
Sustainability
Consumerism
Comparison
Life balance
Mental well-being
Community relationships
Sustainable development

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In recent times, economic growth has helped many become richer, both in developed and developing countries. However, those in developed countries are not as happy as they were in the past. Why is this? What can be learned from this? (Write 250 words.)

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Topic: some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play\ with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the children of having a large number of toys?

In cities and towns all over the world the high volume of traffic is a problem.What are the causes of this and what actions can be taken to solve this problem?

Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do the advantages of the trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Some peole believe that tecnology has led to many positive development in their lives other think tecnology is gradually take over controlof the way people live.