IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

all cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned and electric car should replace them. Do you agree or disagree ?

#cars #fuels #car
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In the world, nowadays, electric vehicles should substitute any car that uses fossil fuels
such
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 as diesel, petrol and others. Personally, I believe that using electric
cars
Use synonyms
 could preserve our environment,
however
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,
Correct determiner usage
apply
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those diesel engines automobile
Change the determiner
that diesel engines automobile
those diesel engines automobiles
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 can cause pollution to the world.
To begin
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 with, motors which
uses
Change the verb form
use
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 fossil fuel should be banned by the authority and vehicles
move
Wrong verb form
moving
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 using electricity must
be publish
Change the verb form
be published
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.Some of those
cars
Use synonyms
 could cause more pollution which affects animals and humans in their lives.
Furthermore
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, fumes that come from fossil auto causes global warming to the community and the end result is drought. It is
also
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 unhealthy to breathe polluted air which can promote lung problems.
For instance
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, in my native country, the higher population have been affected by respiratory diseases which come from affected oxygen.
On the other hand
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, electric motors can not produce bad emissions that
accommodates
Change the verb form
accommodate
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 global warming and they are not as noisy as compared to petrol engine autos. Moreso, animals
such
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 as lions in the jungle could drink safe and clean water from the rivers and lakes,
hence
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 trees in the forest
also
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 provide coldness and freshness to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society.
Therefore
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,
it is clear that
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 electric
cars
Use synonyms
 are
also
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 very fast when humans travel to work or other journeys.
This
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 can be exemplified by people in the UK, they prefer electric motor, because it manages all their tasks in time.
To conclude
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,
instead
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 of using fossil fuel automobiles, the government should introduce electric
cars
Use synonyms
 and ban all those polluting the air and
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
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 sickness
to
Change preposition
in
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 the
nations
Fix the agreement mistake
nation
show examples
.
Submitted by cajaah93 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on creating smooth transitions between ideas, using linking phrases effectively, and ensuring paragraphs connect logically. A clear and consistent structure is key.
task achievement
For task achievement, ensure you fully address all parts of the prompt, presenting a clear opinion and developing it with a wide range of ideas. Expand on your examples to be more specific and directly related to the prompt.
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