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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #boys #girls #schools #benefit
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It is argued whether girls and boys should study in separate
schools
Use synonyms
 or they should attend mixed
schools
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.
Although
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 studying in separate
schools
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help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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both
Use synonyms
 genders to stay more focused towards their goals, I believe that co-educational
schools
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 help them to learn how to treat
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
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gender
Use synonyms
 in a respectful manner. A separate school environment is less distractive, which is why, some people think that it will benefit their
children
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 more than mixed
schools
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.
Usually
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Usually,
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 school-age
children
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 are more attracted towards the opposite
gender
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. Going to separate
schools
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 minimizes the chances for them to get
involve
Change the form of the verb
involved
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 in conversations with the opposite
gender
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. With
this
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, they would be able to concentrate more on their academics and achieve their desired goals.
For instance
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, countries
such
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 as India and Pakistan promote
this
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 kind of schooling system, and it works well for them, as their
children
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 get less
involve
Wrong verb form
involved
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 in
early age
Add a hyphen
early-age
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 relationships and achieve good grades.
However
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, it is a short-sighted view and will not help these countries
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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to develop. Mixed
schools
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,
on the other hand
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, teach
both
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 genders about how to respect and understand the opposite sex. When
both
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 sexes interact and
involve
Wrong verb form
are involved
show examples
 in activities together on a daily basis, they understand the topics that could be sensitive and can hurt someone's sentiments. By working together, they learn how to make comfortable each other and try to initiate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conversations in a respectful manner. A particularly good example of
this
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 is weekly discussion sessions run by
mixed- school
Correct your spelling
mixed-school
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 authorities, where
both
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 boys and girls work together in groups, debate and
also
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 compete with each other without any inferiority and bullying in a harmonious way.
For
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this
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 reason, I believe that mixed
schools
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 are more beneficial than separate
schools
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. In conclusion, I believe that coeducational
schools
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 teach
children
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 how to treat the opposite
gender
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 respectfully and sensibly,
while
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separate
Correct article usage
a separate
show examples
 schooling system emphasizes
much on
Rephrase
apply
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how to help
children
Use synonyms
 to be more focused.
Submitted by meghnabawa91 on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that the introduction sets a clear foundation for the discussion, including a precise thesis statement.
logical structure
Work on creating a more logical structure by improving paragraph division and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central idea.
supported main points
Enhance main points with stronger, more developed examples and explanations.
complete response
Make sure to respond completely to the task by providing a distinct opinion and justifying it fully.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify ideas by developing them further and ensuring they are comprehensive through detailed discussion and analysis.
relevant specific examples
Use more varied and precise examples to support the arguments, giving specific details where possible.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • co-education
  • gender segregation
  • peer pressure
  • academic performance
  • gender stereotypes
  • discrimination
  • social skills
  • teamwork
  • collaboration
  • diversity
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