IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Government investments in the arts such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Government must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree

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According
Add the preposition
According to
show examples
this
Linking Words
 prompt,
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 is investing
money
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
arts
Use synonyms
for example
Linking Words
 music drama and cultural shows
instead
Linking Words
 of
countries
Change noun form
the country's
show examples
 public services.
However
Linking Words
, I totally disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement
Linking Words
due
Change preposition
because
show examples
 to
arts
Use synonyms
 can
be represented
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
 a major
roll
Correct your spelling
role
show examples
 in countries
such
Linking Words
 as
it is helps to
Wrong verb form
helping
show examples
 mental health and
socail bahaviour
Correct your spelling
social behaviour
. Art is the way
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
humans
feeling
Wrong verb form
feel
show examples
. It helps to
reduse
Correct your spelling
reduce
 mental health
such
Linking Words
 as stress, anxiety and any kinds of mental issues. When people
suffering
Wrong verb form
suffer
show examples
 from these various problems art is the
antiboitic
Correct your spelling
antibiotic
antibiotics
 for every situation.
For instance
Linking Words
, every country has
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cancer patients and heart patients and music is the best way for their treatment like
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
playing
violin
Change the article
the violin
show examples
 and
listen
Wrong verb form
listening to
show examples
 that music.
Therefore
Linking Words
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should
expending
Verb problem
spend
show examples
 their
money
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
Use synonyms
arts
Correct article usage
the arts
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
general
Correct article usage
the general
show examples
 attitude and behaviour of every single person is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
vial
Correct your spelling
vital
show examples
 part of a country.
I t
Correct your spelling
It
show examples
 can
reduse
Correct your spelling
reduce
 violence and criminality. Poetry is the best example
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 that because they talk directly to
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
their nation to
bulid
Correct your spelling
build
uo
Correct your spelling
up
 attitudes
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their minds.
For example
Linking Words
, S. Mahinda
thero
Change the capitalization
Thero
show examples
 and
Mahathma
Correct your spelling
Mahatma
 Gandi
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 the best artists forever, who spoke to the
naions
Correct your spelling
nations
nation
. They write poems and it
is helps
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
social behaviour. In conclusion,
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should spend
money
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
arts
Use synonyms
 and culture, because, it always
take
Correct subject-verb agreement
takes
show examples
 part
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
peoples
Change noun form
people's
show examples
crusial
Correct your spelling
crucial
 time. Yearly budget
government
Use synonyms
 can
divided
Wrong verb form
divide
show examples
 their
money
Use synonyms
 for
arts
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
 public services.
Linking Words
Consequently
Add a comma
Consequently,
show examples
 art combined with social and person individually and we must take hands for their
gorwn
Correct your spelling
grown
 in future.

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Task Achievement
The essay presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument is not fully elaborated on, lacking depth and development. You should expand your ideas, providing more detailed examples and explanations.
Coherence & Cohesion
The logical structure of your essay needs improvement. Although there is an attempt to create paragraphs, the ideas within them are not well developed. Each paragraph should contain one main idea and a series of supporting sentences that expand on that idea.
Coherence & Cohesion
To achieve higher coherence and cohesion, it is important to make use of linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs. Your essay requires a more systematic approach to organizing paragraphs and ensuring that each has a clear main point that is developed coherently.
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