IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

You work at home and have a problem with a piece of equipment that use for your job. Write a letter to the shop or company which supplied the equipment. In your letter •describe the problem with the equipment •explain how this problem is affecting your work •say what you want the shop or company to do.

#work #home #piece #equipment #job #shop #company #•describe #•explain #•say
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
 epistle to complain about the wireless headphones that I bought recently from your store.I am unable to connect my laptop to the headset which is impacting my work. The Sony wireless headset that I purchased from the store
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
 not operational perfectly fine
from
Change preposition
for
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last
Correct article usage
the last
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 15 days, the battery only
last
Replace the word
lasts
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 for half n hour.I
perfomed
Correct your spelling
performed
 every troubleshooting that I
can
Wrong verb form
could
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 perform like
I read
Wrong verb form
reading
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 manuals online and
also followed
Wrong verb form
following
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 the steps to reboot it ;
however
, the problem persists.
Initially
Add a comma
Initially,
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 I thought the issue
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 with charging, I plugged in the charging overnight but no luck.My mother has
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
headsets
Fix the agreement mistake
headset
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,
her's
Change noun form
her
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 works fine. The problem is affecting my work and I am unable to focus on my work.
Moreover
, when I speak to someone using the mic,
other
Change the wording
another
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 person hears their own echo.
This
 issue is not only making my job difficult , but
also
 I am
loosing
Replace the word
losing
show examples
ample
Correct article usage
an ample
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 amount of clients.I am totally dependent on
this
 equipment.
Furthermore
, I have 2
months
Correct your spelling
2-month
 warranty left on
this
 headset.I suggest
to replace
Change the verb form
replacing
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 the old
la[top
Correct your spelling
laptop
 and
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
 me with a new one. Since I have two months warranty left on these headsets and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 would like to get a new one.I hope you will provide
a new headsets
Correct the article-noun agreement
new headsets
a new headset
show examples
 in
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 few days. I hope to hear from you soon. Yours faithfully, Parul
Submitted by rajparul86 on

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tone
Maintain a formal tone throughout the letter for consistency and suitability for the task.
task req
Address all three bullet points with equal development to fully meet the task requirement.
paragraphing
Ensure each paragraph contains a single clear idea and use linking words to improve the logical flow of the letter.
grammar
Correct grammatical errors and improve sentence structures for clarity.
accuracy
Check the accuracy of the information provided (e.g., confusion between replacing headsets and laptop).
closing
End the letter with an appropriate closing phrase to enhance the cohesive structure.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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