IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

With an increasing population communication via the internet and text messaging, face to face communication will become a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree?

#population #communication #internet #text #face
Nowadays, with the
advanced
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advancement
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 of technology human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
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 are able to communicate with others by using different kinds of functions which are provided by
teir
Correct your spelling
their
smartphone
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smartphones
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.Smartphones
allows
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allow
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people
 to
comuunicate
Correct your spelling
communicate
 with others through the internet,text messaging and fact time.To
come with
Verb problem
conclude
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, some argue that as the
populatoin
Correct your spelling
population
 is increasing
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 an unexpected speed,
face to
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face-to-face
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face
communication
 will be replaced by
the
Correct article usage
apply
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technology.In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I
wiill
Correct your spelling
will
 examine the reason
of
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apply
show examples
why
face to
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face-to-face
show examples
face
communication
 would not become a past thing. To start with,
face to
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face-to-face
show examples
face
communication
provide
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provides
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 a lot more caring.Technology allows
people
 to talk with their family and friends at
anytime
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any time
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 anywhere even
they
Correct word choice
if they
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 are living in
another countries
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another country
other countries
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,Which means that it provides a
time place
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time-place
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 compression.By using text
message
Fix the agreement mistake
messages
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, phone
call
Fix the agreement mistake
calls
show examples
 and
face
 time
people
 are able to chat with their friends and family about
how
Correct word choice
what
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that
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 have been through.
However
Add a comma
However,
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 using
internet
Add an article
the internet
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 as a
communication
methods
Correct the article-noun agreement
method
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 is way
more
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apply
show examples
worse than you think.
Due to
 the fact that
face to
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
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face
communication
 allows
people
 to have
Correct article usage
a first
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first person
Add a hyphen
first-person
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 experience,
instead
 of talking behind the screen.When it
come
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comes
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 to
face
 to
face
communication
,
people
 are able to not only talk but
also
 take care of their family.It gives them
a
Correct article usage
apply
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physically
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physical
show examples
 and
mentally
Change the word
mental
show examples
 caring for them.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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coherence cohesion
It's important to structure your essay clearly by including an introduction that paraphrases the prompt and outlines your position, a body that discusses points with supporting arguments, and a conclusion that summarizes your essay and reiterates your main points. Always strive for a logical progression of ideas. In the essay provided, the structure and organization of the content need improvement to clearly convey your points.
task achievement
In terms of task response, you must fully address all parts of the task. Ensure you express a clear position throughout the response and adequately develop your argument with explanation and examples. The provided essay needs development in terms of fully addressing the prompt and supporting its claims.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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