Nowadays more people are choosing to live with their friends or alone rather than with their families, this trend is likely to have a negative impact on community. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?
In
this
era, more people
are choosing to live with their friends or independently rather than with their families. However
, an argument is rising among public
on Add an article
the public
this
trend and giving
a negative Verb problem
having
impacts
on Correct the article-noun agreement
impact
community
.I totally disagree with Add an article
the community
this
and would like to shed light on the reason for this
change.
Firstly
,living alone can encourage an individual becoming
more mature, not only they are emotionally mature as well Change the verb form
to become
developed
Wrong verb form
develop
self responsibility
.Add a hyphen
self-responsibility
For example
, an individual is more productively
in their workplace and capable Change the word
productive
completing
their own tasks compared to a Change preposition
of completing
centain
individual who Correct your spelling
certain
are
relies on support from Unnecessary verb
apply
another individuals
and usually cannot exist independently.In my opinion, Replace the adjective
another individual
other individuals
independent
personality can Correct article usage
an independent
seriously
good for self-esteem and give a confidence boost without Add a missing verb
be seriously
worry
about other Wrong verb form
worrying
people
Change noun form
people's
thought
yet some Correct subject-verb agreement
thoughts
people
might find it intimidating.
Secondly
, an extended family are usually difficult for an individual to have a personal space for themself and can cause a lot of conflict.Initially
, the majority would prefer self-own or shared accommodation since they find it more privacy and freedom.Moreover
, the advantages of shared accommodation also
helps
in socialization and cost-effectiveness by sharing resources.Change the verb form
help
For instance
, a new student move
to a new city Change the verb form
moves
for
study Change preposition
to
no
need to purchase everything they need and can share resources Change preposition
with no
such
as furnitures
or books.Change the wording
furniture
types of furniture
pieces of furniture
items of furniture
Futhermore
, Correct your spelling
Furthermore
this
can built
Change the form of the verb
build
a new friendships
by sharing Correct the article-noun agreement
new friendships
a new friendship
a
hobbies and interests with each other and less conflict compared to living in the same house with large family members.
In conclusion, how Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
people
decide to live is depend
on their choices. I strongly disagree that Wrong verb form
depends
this
trend is likely to have Correct article usage
apply
a
negative Correct article usage
apply
Fix the agreement mistake
effect
effects
on Fix the agreement mistake
effect
Correct article usage
the community
community
yet it helps an individual to gain more Correct article usage
the community
Replace the word
independence
independently
and Replace the word
independence
built
Wrong verb form
build
Correct article usage
apply
a
leadership to an individual in their life.Correct article usage
apply
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coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: Ensure each paragraph has a clear main topic and that all sentences within it closely relate to that topic. Use a range of linking words appropriately to signal the relationship between ideas. Also, strive for clarity and precision in your argument structure, avoiding repetitive statements and providing clear transitions from one idea to the next. It is also important to check for and correct grammatical errors that can disrupt the flow of your writing.
task achievement
For task achievement: Expand your argument with clear comprehensive ideas supported by pertinent examples. Remember to address the prompt directly throughout your essay. Every assertion should be backed by examples or further explanation to demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic. Also, consider exploring counterarguments to provide a more balanced view and show the ability to evaluate contrasting opinions.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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