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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the percentage of households owning four types of electronic devices between 1995 and 2015. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. (line graph)

The chart below shows the percentage of households owning four types of electronic devices between 1995 and 2015. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. (line graph)
#percentage #households #four #devices #information #features #comparisons #line
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This
Linking Words
 graph illustrates the percentage of families owning 4 types of high-tech devices over 20 years.
Overall
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 figure experienced an upward trend.
While
Linking Words
 there was a significant
changed
Change the form of the verb
change
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
Mp
Correct your spelling
MP
show examples
 3 players, the opposite could be seen in tablets. Standing at 18%, most of the
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
 had
a
Change the article
an
show examples
Mp
Use synonyms
 3 player in 1995,
whereas
Linking Words
 the least belonged to
smart phones
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
 and tablets with 8%.
This
Linking Words
 figure witnessed a gradual growth and reached 40% in 2015, the lowest.
Similarly
Linking Words
, before sharing the same percentage
at the end
Linking Words
 of
observed
Correct article usage
the observed
show examples
 period, at 8%, wireless
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 and
MP
Use synonyms
 3
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
show examples
 with 8% have
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 same
staring
Correct your spelling
starting
show examples
 point and they both increased moderately. On the
othe
Correct your spelling
other
 hand, after computers
appearing
Wrong verb form
appeared
show examples
 in 2003,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 saw a considerable climb by 80% over 12 years and reached
top
Correct article usage
the top
show examples
 2, just after MP3 and mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
.
Submitted by cathyngo1512 on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words mp with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • line chart
  • ownership percentages
  • electronic devices
  • 20-year period
  • significant increases
  • significant decreases
  • detailed comparison
  • highest ownership rates
  • dramatic changes
  • potential reasons
  • trends
  • shifts
  • insights
  • implications
  • future device ownership patterns
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