Some People believe that children should start learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some
society
Fix the agreement mistake
societies
show examples
think that it is better for
kids
to begin
learning a foreign
language
at primary
school
than secondary
school
.
This
essay
believe
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believes
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that learning
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
language
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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big advantages that outweigh the drawbacks since
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
age
of primary
school
would be helpful for
kids
to absorb the knowledge
To learn
Change the verb form
Learning
show examples
a new
language
such
as
foreign
Correct article usage
a foreign
show examples
language
is good for
kids
in order to broaden their communication
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
for the future. As they reach primary
school
which is the first stage of their education and the closest time to their golden
age
, it is essential for the
kids
to start
find
Wrong verb form
finding
show examples
out about
other
Change the wording
another language
other languages
show examples
language
beside
Replace the word
besides
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their mother tongue
language
since it will be easier for them to learn and understand the knowledge that they will get by the help of brain that can create good memories in a young
age
.
Moreover
, learning
language
Add an article
a language
the language
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
a young
age
will be
such
a good opportunity for the children to have
quick
Add an article
a quick
show examples
start to build the
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
that
is very
Verb problem
are
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essential for the future when they have to deal with adult things.
On the other hand
, there are people who have different
opinion
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opinions
show examples
about the good
age
for learning
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
language
such
as they prefer children to learn in secondary
school
. They believe that
teach
Wrong verb form
teaching
show examples
pupils
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
a very young
age
will make them forget about their first
language
which is not a very strong point
whereas
the
kids
still can socialize with their friends and family using their original
language
.
However
, to teach another
language
to children
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
a very young
age
does not make them become the native
from
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of
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its
language
, but it is a method to introduce about other
language
that exists in
this
world and help them to broaden their skills.
To conclude
,
to begin
teach
Change the form of the verb
teaching
show examples
pupils in primary
school
about a foreign
language
have huge benefit for them to have
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
introducing
Replace the word
introduction
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
language
and communication skills that would outweigh its drawbacks.
Submitted by Glo on

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structure
The essay structure needs to be more explicit with clear paragraphing. While the introduction and conclusion are present, they could be improved to more effectively introduce the topic and summarise the main points. Consider using topic sentences at the start of each paragraph to clearly state the main idea.
development
Ensure all main points are fully developed and supported with specific examples or evidence. The essay makes broad claims but often lacks detailed examples to support the assertions, which weakens the task response.
linking
To improve cohesion, use a variety of linking words and phrases to better connect ideas within and between paragraphs. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
task response
In terms of task achievement, ensure that you address all parts of the prompt thoroughly. Give balanced consideration to both advantages and disadvantages, and assess them against each other to show that one outweighs the other.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive development
  • Pronunciation
  • Fluency
  • Brain plasticity
  • Cultural awareness
  • Globalized world
  • Proficiency
  • Educational opportunities
  • Motivation
  • Resource constraints
  • Specialized teachers
  • Academic pressure
  • Parental involvement
  • Curriculum balance
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