More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.
Health
ia
Wealth. Nowadays, It is being seen that, in many advanced Correct your spelling
is
nation
kids are becoming Fix the agreement mistake
nations
heavy
Replace the word
heavier
then
before Replace the word
than
this
is a significant matter for a rich country. I think unaware of heath
issues and the governments have to invest a lot of money for Correct your spelling
health
this
reasons. In the following eassy
, will elaborate Correct your spelling
essay
about
the reasons and the impacts.
To Change preposition
on
conspicious
that, Correct your spelling
conspicuous
todays
young Correct your spelling
today's
genaration
are less Correct your spelling
generation
generations
health
conscious. They do not abide by a healthy diet routine moreover
, they do not perform any type of physical exercise. For instance
, kids are fond of indoor games like as
, video games, computer games and so on. Correct word choice
apply
Moreover
, they prefer technological entertainments
Fix the agreement mistake
entertainment
then
outdoor activities. This
,
influences Remove the comma
apply
on
their physical Change preposition
apply
health
also
, they suffer from various disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
such
as,
Remove the comma
apply
diabates
, heart diseases and joint problems.
Correct your spelling
diabetes
secondly
, Economic impact due to
increased health care
Correct your spelling
healthcare
cost
and decreased productivity. More and more child needs medical treatment Fix the agreement mistake
costs
this days
which Change the determiner
this day
these days
cost
a lot of money Wrong verb form
costs
furthermore
, youngsters become lazy hence
, they are less productive. At that place, they are doing their regular routine works
and do not think Fix the agreement mistake
work
any thing
out of their Correct your spelling
anything
scheadule
. Correct your spelling
schedule
Consicuently
. preventing education towards children and encouraging active Correct your spelling
Consequently
Consistently
life style
.
In conclusion, Kids have to hold the steer in Correct your spelling
lifestyle
near
future for the nation. So, Correct article usage
the near
in
Change preposition
at
this
early age if they become unhealthy it has a huge bad impression for
a country. Change preposition
on
Farther
, the government have to spend a lot of amount Rephrase
Furthermore
for
Change preposition
on
madic
purpose.Correct your spelling
magic
medical
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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure the essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion structure with cohesive linking between ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs effectively.
Coherence & Cohesion
Present and elaborate on main points, making sure each paragraph contains one clear main idea with supporting sentences.
Task Achievement
Fully address all parts of the task, ensuring that all your ideas are relevant to the question.
Task Achievement
Use specific examples to support your points, making them from credible sources or personal experience when relevant.
Task Achievement
Develop your ideas thoroughly so that the examiner can clearly understand the points you're trying to make.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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