More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#children #countries #effects

Health

Correct your spelling

Wealth. Nowadays, It is being seen that, in many advanced

nation

Fix the agreement mistake

nations

show examples

kids are becoming

heavy

Replace the word

heavier

show examples

then

Replace the word

than

show examples

before

this

is a significant matter for a rich country. I think unaware of

heath

Correct your spelling

health

show examples

issues and the governments have to invest a lot of money for

this

reasons. In the following

eassy

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essay

, will elaborate

about

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show examples

the reasons and the impacts. To

conspicious

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conspicuous

that,

todays

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today's

young

genaration

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generation

generations

are less

health

conscious. They do not abide by a healthy diet routine

moreover

, they do not perform any type of physical exercise.

For instance

, kids are fond of indoor games like

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

, video games, computer games and so on.

Moreover

, they prefer technological

entertainments

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entertainment

show examples

then

outdoor activities.

This

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

influences

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their physical

health

also

, they suffer from various

disease

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diseases

show examples

such

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

diabates

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diabetes

, heart diseases and joint problems.

secondly

, Economic impact

due to

increased

health care

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healthcare

show examples

cost

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costs

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and decreased productivity. More and more child needs medical treatment

this days

Change the determiner

this day

these days

show examples

which

cost

Wrong verb form

costs

show examples

a lot of money

furthermore

, youngsters become lazy

hence

, they are less productive. At that place, they are doing their regular routine

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

and do not think

any thing

Correct your spelling

anything

show examples

out of their

scheadule

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schedule

Consicuently

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Consequently

Consistently

. preventing education towards children and encouraging active

life style

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

. In conclusion, Kids have to hold the steer in

near

Correct article usage

the near

show examples

future for the nation. So,

Change preposition

show examples

this

early age if they become unhealthy it has a huge bad impression

for

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show examples

a country.

Farther

Rephrase

Furthermore

show examples

, the government have to spend a lot of amount

for

Change preposition

show examples

madic

Correct your spelling

magic

medical

purpose.

Submitted by tanjimrafel6 on Tue Nov 28 2023

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Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure the essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion structure with cohesive linking between ideas.

Coherence & Cohesion

Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs effectively.

Coherence & Cohesion

Present and elaborate on main points, making sure each paragraph contains one clear main idea with supporting sentences.

Task Achievement

Fully address all parts of the task, ensuring that all your ideas are relevant to the question.

Task Achievement

Use specific examples to support your points, making them from credible sources or personal experience when relevant.

Task Achievement

Develop your ideas thoroughly so that the examiner can clearly understand the points you're trying to make.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

245 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
sedentary
caloric intake
processed foods
fast food culture
screen time
metabolic disorders
healthcare expenditure
lifestyle diseases
preventative strategies
nutritional education
public health policy
body mass index (BMI)
emotional well-being
stigmatization
exercise regimen
eating habits
junk food
socioeconomic factors
health literacy

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More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

As the number of cars increases, more money has to be spent on road systems. Some people think the government should pay for this. Others, however, think that drivers should cover the costs.

Environmental issues such as climate change have always been an international problem because governments are not imposing harsh punishments against offenders. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Support your answer with specific reasons and examples.

Some people say that schools should spend more money on computers, others say that more money should be spent on teachers' wages. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

Nowadays, more and more people ffrom different cities are spending more time away from their families. What are the possible reasons and effects on the people themselves and their families.

At present times, the population of some countries include a relative number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantage outweigh the disadvantages?