More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#children #countries #effects

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Health

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Wealth. Nowadays, It is being seen that, in many advanced

nation

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nations

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kids are becoming

heavy

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heavier

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then

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than

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before

this

is a significant matter for a rich country. I think unaware of

heath

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health

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issues and the governments have to invest a lot of money for

this

reasons. In the following

eassy

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essay

, will elaborate

about

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show examples

the reasons and the impacts. To

conspicious

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conspicuous

that,

todays

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today's

young

genaration

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generation

generations

are less

health

conscious. They do not abide by a healthy diet routine

moreover

, they do not perform any type of physical exercise.

For instance

, kids are fond of indoor games like

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

, video games, computer games and so on.

Moreover

, they prefer technological

entertainments

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entertainment

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then

outdoor activities.

This

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apply

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influences

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apply

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their physical

health

also

, they suffer from various

disease

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diseases

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such

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apply

show examples

diabates

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diabetes

, heart diseases and joint problems.

secondly

, Economic impact

due to

increased

health care

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healthcare

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cost

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costs

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and decreased productivity. More and more child needs medical treatment

this days

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this day

these days

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which

cost

Wrong verb form

costs

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a lot of money

furthermore

, youngsters become lazy

hence

, they are less productive. At that place, they are doing their regular routine

works

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work

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and do not think

any thing

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anything

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out of their

scheadule

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schedule

Consicuently

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Consequently

Consistently

. preventing education towards children and encouraging active

life style

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lifestyle

show examples

. In conclusion, Kids have to hold the steer in

near

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the near

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future for the nation. So,

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show examples

this

early age if they become unhealthy it has a huge bad impression

for

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a country.

Farther

Rephrase

Furthermore

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, the government have to spend a lot of amount

for

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show examples

madic

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magic

medical

purpose.

Submitted by tanjimrafel6 on Tue Nov 28 2023

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Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure the essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion structure with cohesive linking between ideas.

Coherence & Cohesion

Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs effectively.

Coherence & Cohesion

Present and elaborate on main points, making sure each paragraph contains one clear main idea with supporting sentences.

Task Achievement

Fully address all parts of the task, ensuring that all your ideas are relevant to the question.

Task Achievement

Use specific examples to support your points, making them from credible sources or personal experience when relevant.

Task Achievement

Develop your ideas thoroughly so that the examiner can clearly understand the points you're trying to make.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

245 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
sedentary
caloric intake
processed foods
fast food culture
screen time
metabolic disorders
healthcare expenditure
lifestyle diseases
preventative strategies
nutritional education
public health policy
body mass index (BMI)
emotional well-being
stigmatization
exercise regimen
eating habits
junk food
socioeconomic factors
health literacy

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More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Traffic jam is increasing. What are causes and solutions?

The percentage of overweight children has increased rapidly in the recent years in several countries. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

erTelevision serves many useful functions. It helps people to relax. Besides, it can also be seen as a companion for lonely people. To what extent do you agree with this? Explain why with your own experience.

In some countries today, children are taught from a young age that competition is important and that winning is everything. Is this a positive or a negative development?