Buying things on the internet such as book, air ticket and groceries is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages.

In
this
era of diverse technological advancements, it is very
much
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apply
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common to place orders for books,
flight
Correct word choice
and flight
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tickets or
to
Verb problem
apply
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even do monthly household shopping
by
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with
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a click on one's personal computer. I think because most ordered items or services do not meet their
decriptions
Correct your spelling
descriptions
,
this
by far outweighs the advantage of
conveniency
Correct your spelling
convenience
for the buyer. Many goods and services are not exactly as they have been portrayed by their sellers because the ultimate goal of every retailer is to make
profit
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a profit
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even if it means displaying wrong information to please potential buyers. It is difficult for buyers to decide the authenticity because the only contact they have is limited to the screen. The typical see, touch and smell senses are not involved in the
internet
and it is
however
more common to fall prey to scammers.
For example
, a survey carried out on users of the Amazon shopping service showed that 75% of books did not match the supplier's claims. If people cannot get what they see,
then
they are still in lack of their desired item and cannot get what they want. It is very convenient to shop on the web because there is no need to visit any store or supermarket or to stand in long queues just to get attended to. The
internet
has eliminated the barriers and stress involved and has made it easier to do all these things with a good connection and a phone in the comfort of one's house. The sick, tired and even pregnant can now shop because it does not require additional energy.
However
this
state of comfort quickly spirals out of control when
internet
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the internet
an internet
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connection is altered or there are troubles with returns , it could mean more trips to head offices or making multiple calls that leave people exhausted and
overall
defeats the essence of convenience. In conclusion, because most of the things displayed on the
internet
markets are only click baits for new buyers and might not meet the standards expected, products may become useless,and
this
is far more significant than any form of rest buying online offers.
Submitted by annodunowo on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear logical structure, with ideas not being adequately developed or connected. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence followed by supporting sentences that develop the main idea. Use linking words to enhance the flow of your writing and guide the reader through your arguments effectively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but require further development. They should clearly state the topic and your position, as well as summarise the main points and restate your opinion in the conclusion. Ensure that these key components are fully fleshed out to provide a complete and satisfying reading experience.
task achievement
Your essay attempts to address the main points but needs more detailed development and clear, comprehensive explanations. To strengthen your response, expand on your ideas with clear reasoning, ensuring each point fully contributes to your overall argument. Detailed examples and stronger logical explanations would also help enhance task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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