Some people think that children should start school at a very early age, but others believe that they should not go to school until they are older. Discuss both these views anf give your opinion.

While
some people believe that schooling should begin at an early
age
,
othes
Correct your spelling
others
claim that children should learn when they become older. In my opinion, I strongly agree that they should start their learning process
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
their
Change the word
a
show examples
young
age
because they can absorb information quickly and develop multiple skills by learning.
This
essay will discuss both views and my opinion in detail. On the one hand, when they are young they have fresh
brain
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
show examples
so they have more room to process information.
That is
to say that, kids naturally get things
quickly
Correct quantifier usage
more quickly
show examples
than adults because their cognitive memory works much better
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
their
Change the word
an
show examples
early
age
.
In addition
, they
also
quickly adapt to the academic atmosphere and begin to utilise their brain capabilities to remember information.
For instance
, a recent study found that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
memory stability is significantly higher for young ones than
teenagers
Change preposition
for teenagers
show examples
.
Furthermore
, they know to get on well with other students in school from their childhood and learn moral values
such
as sharing and tolerance which are significantly important to be a good member of society.
On the other hand
, many people think it's better to study when they become older.
In other words
, parents do not want their kids to undergo
stresses
Correct article usage
the stresses
show examples
of education at an early
age
. They wanted their offspring to enjoy their time before they
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
pushed
in to
Join the words
into
show examples
the academic culture and
make
Wrong verb form
made
show examples
them suffer
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
more
homeworks
Correct your spelling
homework
and assignments.
Moreover
, it might cause depression and a sense of losing
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
interest in studies. Those are the reasons why they prefer schooling at an older
age
.
For example
, a recent study shows that an average of 40% of school
drop outs
Correct your spelling
dropouts
show examples
are
due to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
educational pressure since the beginning. In conclusion,
although
some folks argue that a child can start education when they grow older, I believe learning at
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
young
age
has potential benefits considering the brain development of a child and other significant skills
such
as social and moral values learnt by them.
Submitted by jeeanay on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Ensure that the introduction sets a clear framework for the discussion which is to occur within the body paragraphs, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the key points without introducing new ideas.
logical structure
Improve logical structure by creating more coherent paragraphing with clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and maintaining consistency in ideas throughout.
supported main points
Develop main points using more detailed and specific examples, as well as expanding on the reasons behind the opinions given, to support arguments more robustly.
complete response
Ensure that the essay fully addresses all parts of the task, providing a balanced discussion on both views presented and including a clear personal opinion.
clear comprehensive ideas
Increase the clarity of ideas by clearly defining terms and statements and ensuring that arguments are comprehensive and follow a logical flow.
relevant specific examples
Include more relevant and specific examples to substantiate the points made. Avoid overgeneralizing and strive to provide concrete evidence for your arguments.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: