Some people feel that playing computer games has a negative impact on children's health and social skills. Others say that it has a positive impact. Discuss both views.
Computer
technology has been developing for a Use synonyms
while
, especially Linking Words
computer
Use synonyms
games
. Many Use synonyms
people
consider that brings a lot of effects, Use synonyms
such
as young Linking Words
people
's health and social skills but others hold different views. I will discuss both sides and claim it is true that Use synonyms
computer
Use synonyms
games
give many disadvantages to young Use synonyms
people
.
Playing Use synonyms
computer
Use synonyms
game
makes Fix the agreement mistake
games
children
smart and talkative. Nowadays there are many Use synonyms
games
to build Use synonyms
children
’s creativity. A Use synonyms
computer
game is choosing three different kinds of Use synonyms
stuffs
and it becomes a different kind type of the world and which one will go to the complete world. Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
Moreover
, there are many online Linking Words
games
to involve making a group Use synonyms
to
deal with a mission. Fix the infinitive
apply
Children
can meet Use synonyms
people
from different countries and learn about their cultures on Use synonyms
Use synonyms
computer
.
In negative effects, most Correct article usage
the computer
children
always make themselves tired because of playing Use synonyms
computer
Use synonyms
games
. It is easy to attract young Use synonyms
people
to play Use synonyms
games
on Use synonyms
Use synonyms
computer
and Correct article usage
the computer
children
do not know how to arrange their time. Use synonyms
Thus
, they always play Linking Words
games
overnight so their body cannot provide energy for tomorrow. Use synonyms
In addition
, Linking Words
children
used to Use synonyms
hidden
in the role of Change the form of the verb
hide
games
so it is easy to lose social skills in reality life. In Taiwan, many young Use synonyms
people
tend to play Use synonyms
computer
Use synonyms
games
because they can pretend whoever they want. Use synonyms
However
, they do not have confidence when they back to the real world. Linking Words
Thus
they will be afraid to contact Linking Words
people
.
Use synonyms
To sum up
, Linking Words
computer
Use synonyms
games
provide some positive things. Use synonyms
However
, I believe they bring problemsLinking Words
,
like Remove the comma
apply
children
cannot stop playing Use synonyms
games
so they always feel tired. Use synonyms
Moreover
, they prefer playing Linking Words
computer
Use synonyms
games
rather than socialising with Use synonyms
people
.Use synonyms
Submitted by pobbywang on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear and coherent structure. Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting sentences and a concluding sentence. Try to organize your ideas more logically, ensuring that each point you make is clearly related to the question and contributes to the overall argument or discussion.
task achievement
While you have attempted to cover the task by discussing both positive and negative impacts of computer games, your arguments are not fully developed, and you sometimes repeat points rather than expanding on them. To improve, ensure that each main point is elaborated with a clear explanation, a detailed example, and a link back to the question. Provide a balanced discussion of both views before giving your own opinion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.