IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduates students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008.

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduates students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008.
#show #uk #graduate #postgraduates #students #work #college
The charts illustrate
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 choices made by graduate and postgraduate
students
 in the United Kingdom who did not pursue full-time
employment
 upon completing their studies in 2008.
Overall
, the number of
students
 of post-graduate
students
 who are able to secure full-time
employment
 is significantly higher compared to the number of graduate
students
.
Firstly
, the information for
further
 study was approximately ten times greater than voluntary work for graduate
students
 with 29665 and 3500
studentsm
Correct your spelling
students
 respectively.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,
this
 ratio was similar to the same factors for postgraduates with 2725 and 345 respectively.
Additionally
, college graduates were found to be 10 times more likely to pursue
further
 education compared to individuals with post-graduate degrees.
Secondly
, approximately 17,000
students
 were involved in part-time
employment
.
However
, there was
decrease
Add an article
a decrease
show examples
 in these statistics following the completion of higher education with the recorded data indicating that only 1625
students
 were unable to obtain
employment
 which was roughly one thousand less than the enrollment for part-time jobs.
Submitted by insighttribez on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, employment with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • pursue
  • enhance
  • skillset
  • gain experience
  • expand knowledge
  • acquire
  • develop
  • employment prospects
  • participate
  • contribute
  • job market
  • seek
  • apply for
  • opportunities
  • gain valuable insights
  • explore
  • unemployment rate
  • entrepreneurship
  • set up
  • initiate
  • establish
  • start a business
  • self-employment
  • chart
  • data
  • statistics
  • graduate
  • postgraduate
  • students
  • college
  • full-time work
  • leaving
  • further studies
  • part-time work
  • internships
  • volunteer work
  • travel
  • starting own business
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!