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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph shows the percentage of people aged over 60 in Canada,Finland and Korea between 1950 and 2050.

The graph shows the percentage of people aged over 60 in Canada,Finland and Korea between 1950 and 2050.
The line chart illustrates the
number
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 of
people
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who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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aged over 60 in three countries (
Canada
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,
Korea
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 and
Finland
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) from 1950 to 2050.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can
be see
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be seen
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 clearly that the percentage of
people
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 aged above 60 in
Finland
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 and
Canada
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 went up gradually between 1950 and 2050.
While
Linking Words
ther
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there
 are
declined
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decline
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 in the
number
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 of
people
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who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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aged 60 and over in
Korea
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 in the first 30 years. Between 1990 and 2050, the
proporation
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proportion
 of
people
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 aged 60 or above increased suddenly in
Korea
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. In
Canada
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 and
Finland
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 , There
were
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was
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climbed
Verb problem
a rise
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of
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in
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 the population aged over 60 about 7% and 15% in 1950 and 1979, respectively. From 1980 to 2000, the
number
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 of
people
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 not
changed
Wrong verb form
change
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around
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by around
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 15%; there
were
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was
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Correct article usage
a gradually
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gradually
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gradual
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increase in the population in
Canada
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 and
Finland
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almost
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by almost
show examples
 10% between 2000 and 2050. In
Korea
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, the
precentage
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percentage
 decreased slightly from 5% to 3% in 1950 and 1980,
respectivity
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respectively
.
1981
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From 1981
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 to 2020, there was
increase
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an increase
the increase
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 in the population
steadly
Rephrase
apply
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around 5%. The
number
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 of
people
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 who live in
Korea
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 went up rapidly
9
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by 9
show examples
% to 30% in 2020 and 2050, respectively.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, people, canada, korea, finland with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "went up" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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