some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a wast of time. discuss both sides and give your opinion.
There are split opinions about
art
subject
. There are some communities who support discipline
of Add an article
the discipline
art
should countine
to being essential Correct your spelling
continue
subject
while
other indivuduals
Correct your spelling
individuals
argues
that it should not be. Correct subject-verb agreement
argue
However
,both have their own pros and cons. Therefore
, before commenting on my decision, both views would be discussed.
Examining the former opinion, Art
encourages creativity and self-expression which are critical for children's development. To given
an example, Change the form of the verb
give
offsprings
can express their feelings by using creativity with Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
Correct article usage
the dicipline
dicipline
of Correct your spelling
discipline
art
Moreover
, Incorporating art
in education enhances critical thinking and problem-solving skills. For instance
, In these lessons, they can be encouraged to think to find creative solutions.
On the contrary
, the latter view suggests that craft is a waste of time because they feel that there are many other subjects which are essential for their bright future such
as science, mathematics, and biology. By doing this
, they will become a scientist, doctor and many others. In fact, they will earn very good money by studying these subjects not from a profession.
To conclude
and give my opinion, discipline
of Correct article usage
the discipline
art
is a fantastic and stress-free activity which is quiete
important for learning. Doing crafts as a necessary Correct your spelling
quite
subject
at school is considered an appropriate idea for kids.The government should add art
as a compulsory subject
at schools. Hence
, children will do some stress-free activities.Submitted by utkankorkmaz on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay introduction presents the discussion but could be clearer and more specific about the two contrasting viewpoints. Each paragraph should begin with a clear topic sentence that signals the main point to the reader.
Coherence & Cohesion
You have attempted to organize your ideas, but the logical progression is sometimes lost due to grammatical errors and unclear connections between ideas. To improve, use a range of cohesive devices and ensure paragraphs logically follow one another to guide the reader through your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
While your conclusion summarizes the essay and states an opinion, it could be more explicitly linked to the preceding arguments. Restate your main points succinctly in the conclusion to reinforce your stance to the reader.
Task Achievement
You have addressed the task partially, and while you discuss both views, more depth and development of your arguments would enhance the response. Try to fully elaborate on why each viewpoint is held and provide more detailed and relevant examples to support your discussion.
Task Achievement
The ideas presented are relevant but not fully developed. To improve, seek to expand on your points, providing thorough explanations and examples that clearly relate back to the main question.
Task Achievement
Specific examples are either lacking or too general. Using precise and pertinent examples can significantly strengthen your argument. To improve, include examples that are directly related to the topic and fully illustrate the point you are trying to make.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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