It is often said that crime is one of the main things that make the quality of life poorer. Crime in developed countries is one of the biggest problems in society. What are the causes of this problem and what measures can be taken to reduce it?
There is an issue among societies in developed
country
about the impact towards life quality as an effect of the high level Fix the agreement mistake
countries
in
crime. Change preposition
of
This
matter can be caused by the lack of intense relationship
within Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
family
and it can be solved by the government and society Add an article
the family
colaboration
: strict regulation and Correct your spelling
collaboration
good
social approach.
Fundamentally, a lot of criminals have bad family background stories which Correct article usage
a good
are lead
to Wrong verb form
leads
the
lack of good behaviour. Family play Correct article usage
a
crucial
role in each individual's character building, and when they are failed to maintain the bond, it can affect some members. Add an article
a crucial
In contrast
with people
who live in a good family, majority
of them tend to have good Correct article usage
the majority
personality
and do not deal with any criminal action. Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
For instance
, high
number of Change the article
a high
the high
people
in jail have a big issue with their family. Eventhough
, Correct your spelling
Even
it
is not the main reason which Correct word choice
though it
make
them act that way, Change the verb form
makes
but
still that background Correct word choice
apply
influence
their characters.
Change the verb form
influences
Therefore
, the suitable solutions are stricter
Add an article
the stricter
rule
from the government and Fix the agreement mistake
rules
the
good relationship Correct article usage
apply
among
Change preposition
with
Correct article usage
the publics
publics
. Fix the agreement mistake
public
Firstly
, those wrongdoers need to be punished with more severe sanctions in order to drop the criminal level. When they scare
about the punishment, they will think twice to act in a bad way. Wrong verb form
are scared
Subsequently
, it is believed that people
will not do evil thing
towards Fix the agreement mistake
things
other
who behave well to them. Fix the agreement mistake
others
This
is not happening to everyone, but it is true for majority
. So, it is better for every Add an article
the majority
individuals
to build positive approaches between one and another person in their environment. Change to a singular noun
individual
For example
, visiting new neighbour
and Fix the agreement mistake
neighbours
share
positive Wrong verb form
sharing
story
about the environment or doing mutual cooperation every Fix the agreement mistake
stories
weekends
to get close with each Change to a singular noun
weekend
others
.
In conclusion, crime is highly aware by Change to a singular noun
other
people
especially
in developed Add the comma(s)
, especially
country
and the main predictable cause is Fix the agreement mistake
countries
unhappy
family background. Correct article usage
an unhappy
This
issue can be reduce
and solved by Change the verb form
be reduced
government's
rigorous law and public approach which Correct article usage
the government's
is lead
to Wrong verb form
leads
better
social atmosphere in every environment.Add an article
a better
Submitted by e.warikar on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Task Achievement: While your essay addresses the topic, and attempts to cover causes and solutions, further development is needed to provide a fully comprehensive answer to the prompt. Including more detailed examples, and fully explaining how your proposed solutions specifically address the causes you have identified, would strengthen your response.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: Your essay could benefit from clearer topic sentences and better paragraphing. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to improve the flow and coherence of your essay.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...