You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. The use of mobile phone is as antisocial as smoking. Smoking is banned in certain places so mobile phone should be banned like smoking. To what extend do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

There is a controversial perspective heating up a debate over the fact that utilizing mobile
phones
is forbidden in special
places
. I consider myself an advocate of
this
idea. Without a shadow of a doubt,
smartphones
can bring a wealth of amazing merits which can make
people
's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
more and more convenient, especially connecting with
others
. Because ,thanks to the development of technological devices, communicating with
others
has become
more and more easier
Change the word
easier and easier
easier
show examples
and
people
can hang out with their close friends through some applications which are equipped with
smart
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
phones
without leaving their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
.
For example
, Facebook, Instagram or Twitter can help
people
chat with their friends without being separated by geography.
Hence
, it can not be denied that mobile
phones
can bring many tremendous benefits for
people
, especially communicating with
others
.
Although
the pros of
smartphones
are widely acknowledged, there are some harmful impacts which can be prohibited in some
places
.
Because
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
, in some special destinations which require quiet in order for
people
to concentrate
then
Rephrase
apply
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making use of
smartphones
can make
people
around
Change preposition
apply
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uncomfortable or utilizing
smartphones
so as to take a photo which can be banned.
For instance
, a cinema or museum is one of the
places
where
people
are banned from using their
phones
to take photos.
Therefore
, cell phone use can be inhibited in certain areas to ensure it does not affect
others
. In conclusion, using
smartphones
in certain
places
can
bring
Verb problem
have
show examples
an undesirable effect on not only
people
around them but
also
protecting
Change preposition
on protecting
show examples
the context which can be revealed. After thorough analysis,
although
mobile
phones
can bring great upsides for
people
, it still has some negative impacts.
Submitted by nh203618 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The introduction should clearly state your position, and the conclusion should summarize your main points.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay in a logical manner, with each paragraph clearly discussing a single main idea. This helps the reader follow your arguments more easily.
coherence cohesion
Support each main point with a relevant example or explanation. This strengthens your arguments and shows that you can apply your ideas to real-life situations.
task achievement
Address the task directly and ensure you respond to all parts of the prompt. Clearly state to what extent you agree or disagree with the statement.
task achievement
Present clear and comprehensive ideas. It's important that your essay demonstrates a thorough understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Include specific examples to support your opinions. Examples demonstrate that you can relate abstract ideas to concrete, real-world situations.
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