IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Buying things on the internet such as book, air ticket and groceries is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages.

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Introduction
well ,
in
Change preposition
apply
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these
thes
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these
 days and with the tremendous speed
for every things
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of everything
show examples
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around
arund
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around
 us , Buying things on the internet become more
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common
commne
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common
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edition
inedetion
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and
 more
coustomer
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customer
 oriented
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comparing
compairing
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compared
with in
Change preposition
to
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 the past
Body · 1
in my opinion:
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why
what
way
whay
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why people
peple
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people
 start to
boutgh
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bought
 their needs from the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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because
Add a missing verb
is because
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 it is the
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easiest
easyest
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easiest
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 way to order
athorways
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motorways
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people
pepole
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people
 can
ordered
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order
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 anytime and any place just with one click you can find and
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receive
risive
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receive
 what you ask for
Body · 2
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
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this
Linking Words
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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does
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dose
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does
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 not mean that baying
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from
frome
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from
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internet
Correct article usage
the intrnet
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intrnet
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Internet
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does
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dose
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does
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not
Change the verb form
does not
did not
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 have any
rascses
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races
 or any
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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 in my view
besaid
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be said
 all
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
advantages we can apsullwtly find the
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disadvantages
desadvantages
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disadvantages
 for
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example
exampel
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example
Conclusion
the size
costumer
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customer
show examples
 can not
besure
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be sure
 about the size and most of
thim
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them
 have
rong
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wrong
 size
also
Linking Words
 if they want to
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return
returne
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return
 the order or
refound
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refund
show examples
 their
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money
mony
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money
 it will take more
taim
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time
 and some time they just can not do anything with
this
Linking Words
 order ,
compairing
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comparing
 with if they go
emidyatle
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emigrate
 to the store

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Introduction
Your essay lacks a clear introduction that specifically addresses the topic and outlines your position. Make sure to provide an introductory paragraph that introduces the topic and clearly states your thesis, addressing the advantages and disadvantages of online shopping.
Conclusion
The essay does not have a proper conclusion. Sum up your arguments and restate your position clearly in the concluding paragraph. This will reinforce the points you've made throughout the essay and provide a sense of closure.
Coherence
The coherence of your essay could be greatly improved by organizing your ideas into clear paragraphs with topic sentences. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea or argument.
Cohesion
Use a range of linking words and phrases to help the reader follow your arguments. Avoid repetition and aim for a logical flow of ideas throughout the essay. Work on clear paragraphing to improve cohesion.
Task Response
The task requires you to discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of online shopping and to articulate whether one outweighs the other. Ensure that you address both sides thoroughly and provide specific examples to support your points.
Development
The essay needs more developed ideas and arguments. Expand on your points, provide clear reasoning, and support your arguments with relevant examples. Avoid generalizations and strive to show depth in your response.
Accuracy
Check your grammar and spelling. Errors can make it difficult for the reader to understand your points. Use punctuation correctly and proofread your essay to avoid these issues.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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