Buying things on the internet such as book, air ticket and groceries is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages.

#internet #book #air #ticket #groceries

well ,

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apply

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these

thes

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these

days and with the tremendous speed

for every things

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of everything

show examples

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around

arund

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around

us , Buying things on the internet become more

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common

commne

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common

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edition

inedetion

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and

coustomer

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customer

oriented

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comparing

compairing

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compared

with in

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the past in my opinion:

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why

what

way

whay

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why people

peple

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people

start to

boutgh

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bought

their needs from the

internet

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Internet

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because

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is because

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it is the

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easiest

easyest

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easiest

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way to order

athorways

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motorways

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people

pepole

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people

can

ordered

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order

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anytime and any place just with one click you can find and

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receive

risive

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receive

what you ask for

however

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however,

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this

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apply

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does

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dose

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does

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not mean that baying

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from

frome

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from

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internet

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the intrnet

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intrnet

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Internet

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does

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dose

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does

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not

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does not

did not

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have any

rascses

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races

or any

problem

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problems

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in my view

besaid

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be said

all

this

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these

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advantages we can apsullwtly find the

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disadvantages

desadvantages

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disadvantages

for

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example

exampel

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example

the size

costumer

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customer

show examples

can not

besure

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be sure

about the size and most of

thim

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them

have

rong

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wrong

size

also

if they want to

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return

returne

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return

the order or

refound

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refund

show examples

their

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money

mony

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money

it will take more

taim

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time

and some time they just can not do anything with

this

order ,

compairing

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comparing

with if they go

emidyatle

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emigrate

to the store

Submitted by monm8097 on Wed Nov 29 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction

Your essay lacks a clear introduction that specifically addresses the topic and outlines your position. Make sure to provide an introductory paragraph that introduces the topic and clearly states your thesis, addressing the advantages and disadvantages of online shopping.

Conclusion

The essay does not have a proper conclusion. Sum up your arguments and restate your position clearly in the concluding paragraph. This will reinforce the points you've made throughout the essay and provide a sense of closure.

Coherence

The coherence of your essay could be greatly improved by organizing your ideas into clear paragraphs with topic sentences. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea or argument.

Cohesion

Use a range of linking words and phrases to help the reader follow your arguments. Avoid repetition and aim for a logical flow of ideas throughout the essay. Work on clear paragraphing to improve cohesion.

Task Response

The task requires you to discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of online shopping and to articulate whether one outweighs the other. Ensure that you address both sides thoroughly and provide specific examples to support your points.

Development

The essay needs more developed ideas and arguments. Expand on your points, provide clear reasoning, and support your arguments with relevant examples. Avoid generalizations and strive to show depth in your response.

Accuracy

Check your grammar and spelling. Errors can make it difficult for the reader to understand your points. Use punctuation correctly and proofread your essay to avoid these issues.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
60Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

163 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Buying things on the internet such as book, air ticket and groceries is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

You want to complain about the service that you received in the hotel you stayed in while attending a recent meeting. Write a letter to the person who organized the meeting. In the letter Describe the meeting Explain the problems with the service Suggest what the meeting organizer should do.

some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. why is this the case? do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. write at least 250 words

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?