Nowadays people live in the society where consumer goods are cheaper to buy. Do you think its advantages outweigh disadvantages?
In
this
contemporary era, it is quite common that the value of consumer goods
has lowered. In my opinion, i
tend to believe that it provides both Change the capitalization
I
advantages
and disadvantages. However
there are fewer benefits than Add a comma
However,
advantages
. In the upcoming paragraph
Add a comma
paragraph,
i
am going to explore them fully.
Change the capitalization
I
This
trend appears to be significantly more disadvantageous for many reasons. The most substantial favorable
aspect of Change the spelling
favourable
this
trend is people would starte
purchasing Correct your spelling
start
goods
randomly, even they
ignored whether Correct word choice
if they
goods
are required or not. Due to
the cheaper price, company
may have gone mass production without concerning quality. Add an article
the company
a company
As a
result
Add a comma
result,
goods
are seems
to be striking but less sustainable. What is Change the verb form
seem
more
getting low prices Add a comma
more,
of
Change preposition
apply
goods
consumers are not to willing repair or recycle rather than
they prefer new Correct word choice
apply
one's
.
A Change noun form
ones
further
point of
against cheaper Change preposition
apply
goods
is that throw-away culture which
directly affects Correct pronoun usage
apply
to
the environment. There is a lot of rubbish generated because of excessive Consumerism. Unnecessary production and packing are both responsible for creating garbage. Ultimately Change preposition
apply
thia
rubbish is not Correct your spelling
this
dicomposed
and ends up Correct your spelling
decomposed
discomposed
rivers
and waterways which is detrimental to the environment.
Change preposition
in rivers
On the
contrary
despite Add a comma
contrary,
of
having so many drawbacks there Change preposition
apply
are
might be some vantage of cheaper Unnecessary verb
apply
goods
for consumers. Normally middle class and lower income
people can't purchase regularly their daily necessary Add a hyphen
lower-income
goods
, therefore
cheaper
price is the best opportunities for them to buy Add an article
the cheaper
thing
. It Add an article
a thing
the thing
reduce
the discrepancy between rich and poor in terms of consuming Change the verb form
reduces
goods
. For example
, none
Correct your spelling
one
can
deny the fact that china Rephrase
cannot
mobile
are really cheaper than those in any other Fix the agreement mistake
mobiles
country's
, Change noun form
country
this
is because China phones are available around the world.
In conclusion as far as my explanation is concerned although
there are a few advantages
but
the disadvantages clearly outweigh the Remove the conjunction
apply
advantages
, so it is a disadvantages development.Submitted by tanvir0507 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and subsequent sentences should support this main idea. Avoid paragraphs that go off-topic or contain contradictory points.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your introduction clearly addresses the question and outlines what you are going to discuss. Conclusions should briefly summarize your arguments and reiterate your position. In this essay, your introduction and conclusion are present but could be more clearly defined.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main points with specific, relevant examples and explanations. The examples you use should directly support your argument and be sufficiently elaborated upon. This essay could benefit from more detailed examples and deeper exploration of the points made.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task. Ensure that you fully respond to the question and clearly state your opinion. This essay partially addresses the question but needs to provide a more balanced discussion of the advantages and disadvantages, with a clear stance throughout the essay.
task achievement
Present ideas clearly and expand on them comprehensively. Your essay should elaborate on ideas to fully convey your arguments. Avoid brief or underdeveloped points, as seen in this essay, which lacks comprehensive explanation of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of sentence structures and vocabulary appropriate to academic writing. The essay can be improved by varying sentence structures to enhance readability and flow. Additionally, check for grammatical errors and use vocabulary that accurately conveys your ideas with precision.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example