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Band 3

Some individuals believe raising the minimum legal age for driving cars or riding motorbikes is the most effective method of increasing road safety. While I accept that this policy is good to some extent, I believe it is not the best because there are much better measures to reduce traffic accidents.

#individuals #age #cars #motorbikes #method #road #safety #policy #measures #traffic #accidents
It is a well-known fact that
the
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apply
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most people become responsible as they age because in the early
20s
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20s,
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one
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they
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become
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becomes
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 more mature
due to
 various competitive exams,
such
 as SAT
test
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tests
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 and part-time jobs which provide a youngster
enough
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with enough
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 exposure
of
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to
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the
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apply
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life to understand
repercussions
Correct article usage
the repercussions
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 of their bad actions.
For example
, an indisciplined student could learn to be disciplined by virtue of being fired from various jobs
due to
 his
late-comings
Correct your spelling
shortcomings
show examples
.
Similarly
, the importance of time management in prevailing competitive exams can
also
 be learned by prioritizing study time over playing video games. Since many accidents ensue
as a result
 of reckless driving and overspeeding, and the fact
such
 driving behaviours typically arise
due to
 a lack of time management and discipline;
therefore
 , having heightened awareness about the
time-discipline
Correct your spelling
discipline
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 and increased patience could prevent
such
 road accidents.
However
, there are other measures that can be employed to curb the increasing number of accidents.
Due to
 high academic pressure, many teenagers couldn't learn about driving and other important skills needed for
a
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apply
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safer driving.
This
 is the reason why a driving awareness program should be incorporated
in
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into
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 the school curricula. To illustrate, the construction of
children
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children's
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 traffic parks and an interactive demonstration of traffic rules, using
audio visual
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audio-visual
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 aids in a specially designed screenplay to capture the attention of children, are some ways to effectively educate by increasing their intrigue and knowledge about the prospectus of safe driving.
Submitted by rohit.narad90 on

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task achievement
For task achievement, ensure that you address the prompt fully, which includes discussing both the view provided and your own perspective comprehensively. Stay on topic and make sure to develop your ideas fully with clear explanations. Expand further on how different measures can be more effective than raising the minimum legal age for driving.
coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, your essay would benefit from a clearer logical progression of ideas. Paragraphs should be well-structured and ideas should flow naturally from one to the other. Use a range of cohesive devices and topic sentences effectively to guide the reader through your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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