IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

some argue that he quality of product is what matters while others suggest that products should be affordable. discuss both views and give your opinion

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In recent years, there have been
people
Use synonyms
 who argue that
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 is more important than being affordable. As
such
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 advantages and disadvantages to
this
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 topic,
although
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 I opine that its advantages outweigh the disadvantages. In
this
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 essay, I will examine all the relevant arguments based on factual premises. There are several opinions to
this
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 idea. The most prominent one is that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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affordable
products
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 can be bought by all
people
Use synonyms
;
therefore
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 it can prevent social inequality in the
comunities
Correct your spelling
communities
.
Moreover
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, if one
Use synonyms
people were
Wrong verb form
person
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 had the most expensive jewellery, other
people
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 would
envious
Add a missing verb
be envious
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 and try to steal it.
This
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 situation can be dangerous.
In addition
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, if
people
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were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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lost the
products
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, they could still buy the new ones.
For example
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,
people
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 might lose their tumblers in the workplace;
however
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, they can purchase
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 again.
However
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,If it were good qualities,
people
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 could utilize it for
long
Change the article
a long
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 time.
Moreover
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, we do not have
spend
Fix the infinitive
to spend
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 numerous times to
go
Verb problem
apply
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purchase the
product
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 again.
In addition
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,
people
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 can prevent terrible
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
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 when they use bad
products
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.
For example
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,
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 exemplary handphone is not broken easily, especially
exploded
Verb problem
apply
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when
people
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 use that.
Thus
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, we must
also
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 notice the positive aspects
in
Change preposition
of
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products
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 that have good qualities. In conclusion, there are numerous merits and demerits
about
Change preposition
to
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 a
product
Use synonyms
 with quality. Even though the cheaper version is helpful to
low-middle income
Add a hyphen
low-middle-income
show examples
people
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, we can not ignore the qualities of the
product
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. The
product
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 with good quality
also
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 prevents us from unpleasant situations in the future.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear and logical structure. Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence and present one main idea that is developed coherently through the paragraph. Aim to make smooth transitions between ideas to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Include an introduction and conclusion that encapsulate your main arguments and opinion succinctly. Ensure that the conclusion does not introduce new ideas but summarizes the arguments made in the body paragraphs and restates your position clearly.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with clear and relevant examples. Each main idea should be elaborated with specific illustrations, facts, or data that support the argument you are making and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task by discussing both views and giving your opinion. The essay should include a clear statement of your position and explore both sides of the argument comprehensively, reflecting understanding and balanced analysis of the topic.
task achievement
Develop ideas fully to express yourself clearly and comprehensively. Ensure that each main point is expanded upon with explanations or examples so that the reader can understand your argument without ambiguity or confusion.
task achievement
Use specific examples that are directly relevant to the arguments being made. Avoid general statements or hypothetical scenarios without concrete details that demonstrate the applicability of your points to real-world situations.
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