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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart shows the percentage of car manufacturer's total sales in North America, South America, Europe and Asia.

The chart shows the percentage of car manufacturer's total sales in North America, South America, Europe and Asia.
#percentage #car #manufacturer #sales #america #europe #asia
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The bar chart describes the proportion of
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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 sold by
car
Use synonyms
 producers in South
America
Use synonyms
, North
America
Use synonyms
, Asia,
Europe
Correct word choice
and Europe
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 between 2006 and 2010 As can be clearly seen from the graph, the four regions
expertenced
Correct your spelling
experienced
experience
different
Change the word
differently
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.
While
Linking Words
 the quantity of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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cars
Use synonyms
 sold in
Asian
Correct your spelling
Asia
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 and Europe was higher than
the
Change preposition
in the
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 other two regions. As the graph shows, the number of
cars
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 sold rocketed slightly from 25% to 34% between 2006 and 2007 in Europe.
This
Linking Words
 figure was kept the same until 2008. In
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
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 of the number of
car
Use synonyms
sales
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 proportion hit a peak in 2010 of approximately 50%.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the percentage of
cars
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 sold in Asia
keep
Verb problem
remained
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 unchanged
35
Change preposition
at 35
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% between 2006 and 2007. In 2008, the
Use synonyms
cars
Correct quantifier usage
number of cars
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 sold went down slightly
accounted
Wrong verb form
accounting
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 for about 38% of total
car
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sales
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. During the period from 2008 to 2010, there was a quick drop in
cars
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 sold from 38% to 30%.
However
Linking Words
, accounts for 29% of the total sold of
cars
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 in North
America
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,
while
Linking Words
 the proportions were lower for
cars
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 in South
America
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 at 11% in 2006. During a period of 1
years
Change to a singular noun
year
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,
cars
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 sold in North
America
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also
Linking Words
 spent a high percentage of
car
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manufacturer’s
Change noun form
manufacturers
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, at 23% compared with 5% for
car
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sales
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 in South
America
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. Regarding
car
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sales
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 in South
America
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 , for 2008 and 2010
are
Wrong verb form
were
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 a slow rise only 6% and 11% respectively,
while
Linking Words
cars
Use synonyms
 sold in North
America
Use synonyms
 witnessed
an
Change the article
a
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 significant decline from around 22% to 9%
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words car, america, cars, sales with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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