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Band 6

Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #space #exploration #waste #governments #benefit #nation
Space
 exploration offers us the chance to learn a great deal of new things.
However
, as it costs an exorbitant amount, we need to decide the best way to allocate our
resources
. I would argue that there are more pressing
problems
 that need addressing but that there may be other ways for us to continue funding
space
 exploration. There are a number of
problems
 which are still affecting the world today. Despite incredible advancements in science and
technology
Add a comma
technology,
show examples
 there are still billions of people who struggle with health, education, food and water, shelter and security. Many people suggest that we lack the
resources
 to resolve these
problems
 and
therefore
 should not waste billions of dollars on exploring
space
.
On the other hand
, there is much to be
learnt
Replace the word
learned
show examples
 from the exploration of
space
. There is the possibility of discovering new materials and energy sources. Some scientists even suggest that we may be able to colonize other planets or make contact with other life forms. Given that the universe is so vast, it does not make sense to only focus on our planet. One possibility of continuing to explore the universe
while
 improving the quality of life on
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
show examples
 is through greater cooperation between countries.
For example
, a global
space
 agency could be founded which allows for countries to share their
resources
.
This
 would enable countries to allocate funds more effectively and would avoid the duplication of research. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
although
 it seems immoral to spend money to explore
space
instead
 of addressing global
problems
, it would be ignorant to turn our back on
space
. One solution would be to better share our
resources
 in order to benefit mankind
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that the subsequent sentences support that idea effectively. Provide more specific examples to substantiate your arguments.
Task Achievement
Fully address all parts of the prompt by expanding on your ideas and discussing the implications or potential consequences in greater depth. Include a broader range of examples to support your points and demonstrate a full understanding of the issue at hand.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • complete waste
  • benefit the nation
  • technological advancements
  • foster
  • international cooperation
  • inspire
  • engage
  • boost the economy
  • long-term benefits
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