IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

You saw an advert in the newspaper asking for volunteers to help run a charity event. Write a letter of application to the organisers. In your letter:  Explain why you are interest in helping  Give details suitable past experience  Suggest ways you might help with the event

#advert #newspaper #volunteers #charity #event #application #organisers #interest
Dear Mr. Mumin, I hope
this
 letter finds you in radiant health and you are doing well. I am writing
this
 letter in response to the advertisement published in the national newspaper asking for
valunteers
Correct your spelling
volunteers
 to help run a
charity
 event. I am very much interested
to work
Change preposition
in working
show examples
 as a volunteer in your organization so that I
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 help
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
. As a developing country, most of our
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
people
living
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
under
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 level of poverty which is the main reason to play the
rule
Correct your spelling
role
show examples
as
Change preposition
of
show examples
 a volunteer in your renowned
charity
 firm. I wanted to let you know some details of my past working experience which will be suitable
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 joining
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
your organization as a volunteer. Currently, I have been working in
multinational
Correct article usage
a multinational
show examples
charity
 company since 2018.
This
 company
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
basically
work
Correct subject-verb agreement
works
show examples
 with underprivileged
people
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. I would suggest some ideas which might help with the event
such
 as
to arrange
Change the verb form
arranging
show examples
exhibition
Correct article usage
an exhibition
show examples
 and composition writing program based on substandard lifestyle.
In addition
, we might distribute some leaflets to grab the attention of
local
Add an article
the local
show examples
 community
as well as
 to
creating
Wrong verb form
create
show examples
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
 vibe among the
people
 about the
charity
 event. I am looking forward to your kind reply regarding
this
 matter. Yours sincerely, Faisal
Submitted by faisalmahamood on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure there is a clear progression of your ideas throughout your letter. Use cohesive devices appropriately to connect paragraphs and sentences.
coherence cohesion
Structure your letter with appropriate opening and closing phrases. Keep the tone consistent and make sure it matches the formal context of a letter of application.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph should focus on a single idea, supporting the main purpose of the letter and providing relevant details.
task achievement
Fully address all three bullet points with relevant details. Make sure your response directly relates to the task given.
task achievement
Maintain a formal and polite tone throughout the letter. Avoid informal language and ensure your writing is appropriately formal for a letter of application.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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