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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The chart presents the
propotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
 of the
population
Use synonyms
 in different Asian countries, namely
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
,
Malaysia
Use synonyms
, Thailand and
Indonesia
Use synonyms
. The figures show changes in the percentage of total people from 1970 to 2020, with
overview
Correct article usage
an overview
show examples
 up to 2040 year.
Overall
Linking Words
, the main trend for all counties remains
steadly
Correct your spelling
steady
steadily
, the percentages of
whole
Change the article
the whole
show examples
population
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 rising through the years. Comparing countries, there are
two
Use synonyms
 of them show
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sharply grow
Replace the word
sharp growth
show examples
,
otherwise
Linking Words
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
two
Use synonyms
demostrate
Correct your spelling
demonstrate
 a
steadily
Change the adverb
steady
show examples
 change. The percentage of
total
Add an article
the total
show examples
population
Use synonyms
experienced
Correct pronoun usage
that experienced
show examples
 growth for all countries, reached a peak in 2040 year.
Number
Change the article
The number
show examples
 of people
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
total
Add an article
the total
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 in
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 and
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 increased dramatically from 2000 to 2040 years. The percentages
achieve
Verb problem
are
show examples
 about 65 and 80 in
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 and
Malaysia
Use synonyms
, respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, as the growth of the
population
Use synonyms
 in Thailand and
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 went up, the total number of people
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 lower than in
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 and
Indonesia
Use synonyms
. To summarise, there are
two
Use synonyms
 main trends on the graph: a consistent upward trend in
population
Use synonyms
grow
Replace the word
growth
show examples
, and a steady growth with
Correct article usage
a sharply
show examples
sharply
Change the adverb
sharp
show examples
 increase of another
two
Use synonyms
 of them.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words population, malaysia, indonesia, two with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urban population
  • Trend analysis
  • Urbanization rate
  • Economic development
  • Rural-urban migration
  • Infrastructure
  • Socio-economic events
  • Stagnation
  • Anomalies
  • Environmental concerns
  • Predictive analysis
  • Geographical aspects
  • Government policies
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