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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some countries, a high proportion of criminal acts are committed by teenagers. What is the cause?What can be done to deal with this.

#countries #proportion #acts #teenagers
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Youngsters are likely to explore something new
such
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 as illegal activities. Obviously, the
rate
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 of crimes that are being committed by
teenagers
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 is really huge. There are several reasons why they are doing that.
Curiosity
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 and toxic relationship aspects are becoming the biggest issues as to why they act like criminals. In the end, the governments should handle
this
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 issue with proper restrictions and policies for
teenagers
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. Today, the
curiosity
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 of
teenagers
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 is influenced by the crime
rate
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. They are usually trying something new and likely to share with their friends. Particularly, they are not worried about breaking the rule for their
curiosity
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.
For example
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, someone who is interested in drugs will buy and collect them to transfer to others.
As a result
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, it will produce a bad habit and create a toxic relationship among adolescents.
Finally
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, a bad habit activity is a root cause for being criminals. To handle
this
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 situation, governments should be involved to protect and decrease the crime
rate
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 among adolescents. Creating strict policies and procedures will save
teenagers
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 from doing bad habits.
However
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,
this
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 condition needs to be supported by parents and teachers. Their roles as a mentor are needed by young people. In conclusion,
curiosity
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 is becoming the most significant factor in the criminal
rate
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that is
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 done by
teenagers
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. There are several actions that can be done to handle
this
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 issue
such
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 as strict policies and procedures by the government and support from their parents or teachers.
Submitted by irhamtaufiqurrahman on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear logical structure. Use clear paragraphs to separate ideas, and make sure each paragraph has a topic sentence that clearly signals the main idea it covers. Make use of cohesive devices appropriately to link sentences and paragraphs, but without overusing them.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task by fully responding to all prompts in the question. Develop your ideas in a way that reflects a more nuanced understanding of the topic. Support your ideas with relevant examples, and make sure that these examples illustrate your points effectively. Refrain from making general statements without elaborating on them sufficiently.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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