Buying things on the internet such as book, air ticket and groceries is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages.

Technology has penetrative our lives completely. Online purchasing has been our lifestyle and become a daily practice. A plethora of
people
have been dependent on online shopping to save their
time
.
However
, a massive reduction in offline shopping is being observed by
people
. The proliferation of online purchasing has benefits which I will discuss in the following paragraphs. The
Internet
has given an opportunity to get anything from websites and many pupils are getting advantages from it.
The
Correct article usage
A
show examples
busy schedule many
people
are preferred
Wrong verb form
prefer
show examples
to go online because it saves their
time
and money.
Besides
this
, minimizes fuel consumption on busy roads. Diversity of shops through
Internet
services and information about products. The online market has given all the details of the item and you can choose easily. To illustrate, in my country the Daraz application is a well-known site for online shopping and
this
website
also
has a return policy. If a product is not satisfied by
people
they can return within a given
time
.
In addition
, a large group of pupils are busy in their hectic lives so they do not have enough
time
to cook at home,
therefore
, they order meals through online services. Different dishes are available on
Internet
apps with one click and order delivery within a few minutes at your destination.
Furthermore
, advertisements of the products are given through social media platforms so
people
can order from those applications.
Consequently
, online markets have all the things to purchase anywhere. In a nutshell, online buying has a huge impact on folks and they are experiencing it. In my point of view, the merits of
Internet
shopping are more than the demerits
due to
time
and money
saving
Replace the word
savings
show examples
. If the online markets are increased in the same way it will benefit more to the public.
Submitted by mobinadurrani43 on

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Introduction
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines the main points to be discussed. Your introduction should set the stage for the essay but avoid overly general statements. Aim to briefly mention the advantages and disadvantages that will be explored.
Logical Structure
Work on creating logical connections between your ideas. Improve the structure of your paragraphs; each should contain one clear main idea and be followed by supporting sentences that develop the idea further.
Conclusion
Include a conclusion that not only summarizes the main points but also clearly states your position. In this instance, the conclusion should balance the advantages and disadvantages of online shopping and state if one outweighs the other, with some justification.
Cohesion
Enhance the coherence of your essay by using a range of linking words and phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs. This will help the reader to understand the relationship between your ideas.
Task Response
Refer back to the task to keep your essay relevant. Provide specific examples to support the main points and make sure each paragraph focuses on a single aspect of the task. Avoid making overly broad statements without backing them up with specific information.
Supporting Examples
When providing examples, ensure they are detailed and directly relevant to the point you are making. By using concrete examples, such as citing specific statistics or real-life scenarios, you will strengthen the argument and make it more convincing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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