Buying things on the internet such as book, air ticket and groceries is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages.

#internet #book #air #ticket #groceries

Technology has penetrative our lives completely. Online purchasing has been our lifestyle and become a daily practice. A plethora of

people

have been dependent on online shopping to save their

time

However

, a massive reduction in offline shopping is being observed by

people

. The proliferation of online purchasing has benefits which I will discuss in the following paragraphs. The

Internet

has given an opportunity to get anything from websites and many pupils are getting advantages from it.

The

Correct article usage

show examples

busy schedule many

people

are preferred

Wrong verb form

prefer

show examples

to go online because it saves their

time

and money.

Besides

this

, minimizes fuel consumption on busy roads. Diversity of shops through

Internet

services and information about products. The online market has given all the details of the item and you can choose easily. To illustrate, in my country the Daraz application is a well-known site for online shopping and

this

website

also

has a return policy. If a product is not satisfied by

people

they can return within a given

time

In addition

, a large group of pupils are busy in their hectic lives so they do not have enough

time

to cook at home,

therefore

, they order meals through online services. Different dishes are available on

Internet

apps with one click and order delivery within a few minutes at your destination.

Furthermore

, advertisements of the products are given through social media platforms so

people

can order from those applications.

Consequently

, online markets have all the things to purchase anywhere. In a nutshell, online buying has a huge impact on folks and they are experiencing it. In my point of view, the merits of

Internet

shopping are more than the demerits

due to

time

and money

saving

Replace the word

savings

show examples

. If the online markets are increased in the same way it will benefit more to the public.

Submitted by mobinadurrani43 on Thu Nov 30 2023

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Introduction

Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines the main points to be discussed. Your introduction should set the stage for the essay but avoid overly general statements. Aim to briefly mention the advantages and disadvantages that will be explored.

Logical Structure

Work on creating logical connections between your ideas. Improve the structure of your paragraphs; each should contain one clear main idea and be followed by supporting sentences that develop the idea further.

Conclusion

Include a conclusion that not only summarizes the main points but also clearly states your position. In this instance, the conclusion should balance the advantages and disadvantages of online shopping and state if one outweighs the other, with some justification.

Cohesion

Enhance the coherence of your essay by using a range of linking words and phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs. This will help the reader to understand the relationship between your ideas.

Task Response

Refer back to the task to keep your essay relevant. Provide specific examples to support the main points and make sure each paragraph focuses on a single aspect of the task. Avoid making overly broad statements without backing them up with specific information.

Supporting Examples

When providing examples, ensure they are detailed and directly relevant to the point you are making. By using concrete examples, such as citing specific statistics or real-life scenarios, you will strengthen the argument and make it more convincing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

299 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Buying things on the internet such as book, air ticket and groceries is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Do you consider viewing television a waste of time?

Many people are working at home rather than in the workplace. Some people believe this will bring benefits to the workers and their families, but others suggest it will cause stress in the home. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding about the history of the house or building the live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Should private schools receive government funding? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.