IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

5.What key criteria does your target company use in their recruitment process?

#criteria #target #company #recruitment #process
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Collaboration and interpersonal skills are other crucial criteria.Working in investment banking often involves collaboration with other experts and colleagues, so effective communication is essential. The ability to work with others, work with colleagues within the corporation and build strong relationships with consumers.
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 is because many decision-making and idea-generation are originated from teamwork and cooperation among individuals. Building relationships with clients is essential, as it facilitates a deeper understanding of their long-term goals since
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 will help to connect with clients and deliver tailored financial advisory solutions, so the consumers are satisfied with the results.
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 will involve the ability to solve conflicts that may arise in a collaborative work environment, so the candidate can contribute positively to the organization’s collaborative culture and deliver exceptional financial advisory services.
Submitted by elenazheng1211 on

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structure
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion, which are vital for framing the topic and summarizing the main points. Consider including these in your response.
content
The main points need to be better supported with specific examples or evidence. Try to include real-life instances or hypothetical scenarios to strengthen your arguments.
task response
The response is incomplete as the essay does not address the full scope of the topic concerning the key criteria used in a company's recruitment process. It only focuses on collaboration and interpersonal skills but does not mention other possible criteria such as technical skills, experience, education, or adaptability.
coherence
For coherence and cohesion, ensure that your ideas flow logically from one to the next. Use transition words and phrases to signal the relationship between your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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