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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people can buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #people #products #world #development
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Is it true that the import-export of
goods
Use synonyms
 at the international level makes countries more similar? It can be said that individuals can purchase identical
goods
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 in their own country as that of foreign.
This
Linking Words
 is constructive development in terms of trade but certainly, it is not regarding the environment. I believe the drawback is more substantial to discuss than its benefit.
To begin
Linking Words
 with the positive development, the availability of international products in the home country is not known as the ease of access to foreign items for no reason. Simply put, It is a convenient method for tourists to buy overseas articles like clothes, sportswear, or electronic
goods
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 from any country all over the globe. Owing to
this
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, they do not need to carry a lot of essentials with their luggage
while
Linking Words
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
. To cite an example, no sooner did the Columbia brand launch in India, hikers cut the weight of jackets, shoes, and sleeping bags from their luggage.
Therefore
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, It gives a great benefit to international commuters by providing equal shopping opportunities in all the nations.
On the other hand
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, the shipment of commodities not only ruins the environmental quality but
also
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 creates an imbalance in the ocean ecology. To be more specific, transportation via land, air, or water modes produces immense pollution in the earth's atmosphere. Because of
this
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, the extraction of carbon monoxide and CFC gasses affects the ozone layer badly.
Moreover
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, sea accidents disturb marine life which leads to create disharmony for the waterphillic creatures.
For instance
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, a painstaking survey was recently carried out by BBC in 2022, which
further
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 revealed that the lifespan of sea creatures was reduced to one-third after the increase in international trade via sea.
Hence
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, providing similar
goods
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 all over the earth adversely affects the ecosystem and the earth's atmospheric conditions. To recapitulate, without any doubt, it can be asserted that the presence of the same brand worldwide can help the local public or travelers but its severe impact on the surroundings outweigh its advantage. The government should put steps forward to ban
such
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 anti-environmental transportation which
effects
Correct your spelling
affects
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 the ecosystem of marine life.
Submitted by knavdeep3011 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that ideas are not repeated or unclearly stated.
coherence cohesion
Make use of cohesive devices effectively and ensure that paragraphs logically follow one another to improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Work on having a clear position throughout the response, addressing all parts of the task.
task achievement
Develop your arguments and provide examples that are clearly connected to the main points.
language
Be careful with grammatical accuracy and range; errors should be rare and difficult to spot.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • diversity
  • homogenization
  • cultural assimilation
  • global connection
  • local businesses
  • economic impact
  • consumerism
  • standardization
  • westernization
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