IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Research has shown that spending less time in the office can reduce the use of energy (for example, electricity, gas). Thus some companies close for some days a week. Do this advantage of this development outhweight the disadvantage.

#research #time #office #energy #electricity #gas #companies #week #advantage #development #outhweight
For many years we had a trend of working from offices and now, for the natural resources economy, scientists have researched spending less time in the familiar
work
 space to reduce the usage of energy
such
 as electricity and gas. In
this
 essay, I will analyze the advantages and disadvantages of
this
 issue. The conclusion of working from different places
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 from the office has some advantages made by the study of today's situation with the energy consumption by office buildings.
Firstly
, as the results of research say the main advantage is consuming less energy when employees have online days on their
work
.
Secondly
,
this
 idea may help with another problem
such
 as traffic jams on the busiest days like Monday and Friday, because after and before the holidays employees don'
t
 have to go on their own or public transport to their usual
work
 zones.
Moreover
, one more advantage is the mental health of coworkers because they may have some days without overcrowded offices which would help solve some conflicts between them.
On the other hand
, we have some minuses that would impact many people or companies. The main disadvantage of
this
 decision is that many employees don'
t
 have another place of
work
 as a coworking zone and they don'
t
 have an opportunity to do tasks from home be many reasons.
Similarly
 problem is about the environment that workers can'
t
 have at home,
hence
 companies have to pay for the environment and bills of different places
such
 as cafes or coworking zones.
To conclude
, even with the cons in
this
 topic, we have enough strong pluses that show many positive findings of the decision to reduce hours spent in the office.
Submitted by ushak.2004.80 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion
Ensure that the introduction clearly addresses the question and presents a brief overview of the essay's direction. The conclusion should be more robust, summarizing the essay's arguments and definitively stating if advantages outweigh disadvantages.
logical structure
Maintain clear and logical progression in the essay structure. Connect ideas and paragraphs with appropriate linking words and cohesive devices.
supported main points
Develop main points with more specific examples and evidence. Each advantage or disadvantage should be explored in depth to fully satisfy task requirements.
complete response
Ensure that the essay directly addresses the prompt. In your case, the task was to discuss if advantages outweigh the disadvantages, which requires a final position or opinion, rather than a neutral conclusion.
clear comprehensive ideas
Express ideas in a more comprehensive manner including a range of vocabulary and sentence structures. Aim to more clearly elaborate on the points made to better argue the case.
relevant specific examples
Use more varied and detailed examples to illustrate points. These should be relevant and help to clearly explain the points being made within the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!