Buying things on the internet, such as books air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantage of shopping in this way weight the disadvantage

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
era ,
E- commerce
Add a hyphen
E-commerce
show examples
has
been
Verb problem
become
show examples
common and
every one
Replace the word
everyone
show examples
tries
Wrong verb form
trying
show examples
this
. Technology is increasing. So every
people
thing easy and quick will finish
them
Change the pronoun
their
show examples
work , nowadays online shopping is going to rending.
This
give some advantage and some drawbacks, in my opinion, ignore the
disadvantage
Replace the word
disadvantageous
show examples
ways and
use
the beneficial
way
On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
hand , more
people
tries
Change the verb form
try
show examples
online shopping because these have many selections and can
easy to
Replace the word
easily
show examples
compare other
websites
also
easy to choose which is like , Nowadays criminals
increased
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
. So many
people
think online payment
good
Correct word choice
is better
show examples
than cash payment
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
show examples
. In busy life ,
websites
give easy and quick search and can buy still home .
This
way
people
feel online shopping is good . On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
hand , part of
people
think
Change the verb form
thinks
show examples
online shopping is bad
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because they feel
websites
are not secure and our account numbers record other systems so
that is
risk
Add an article
a risk
show examples
. So will face
many
Correct your spelling
any
show examples
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
show examples
in future and some
people
have
Add a missing verb
do have
show examples
not knowledge about the using
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
buying
Change the verb form
to buy
show examples
and selling. They don’t
like
Add the particle
like to
show examples
try
this
way
.
For example
, nowadays many
websites
are duplicated so our information
have
Verb problem
is
show examples
not secure In conclusion, in my point of view we can
use
our easy
way
using the internet shopping is easy and quick in the busy world , so
use
without
Correct pronoun usage
it without
show examples
drawbacks
way
and will
use
beneficial
way
.
Submitted by ajeevatharsan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Develop your ideas more fully with appropriate explanations and examples. For instance, when mentioning the risks of online payment, provide concrete examples or statistics to support your point.
coherence cohesion
Ensure you have a clear introduction and conclusion that outline your main points and summarize your stance, respectively. The introduction and conclusion in your essay need to be more clearly defined.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow of your points. Start with a clear topic sentence for each paragraph and follow with supporting details. The ideas presented should be easier to follow and relate to each other in a logical manner.
task achievement
To better meet the task requirements, provide a balanced discussion of both advantages and disadvantages of the topic. Ensure you fully address both sides to show a well-rounded perspective.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider variety of cohesive devices and paragraphing to aid in the organization and flow of your essay. Phrases such as 'On one hand', 'On the other hand', and linking words like 'However', 'Furthermore', can help with structure.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: