Some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university education and the governments should make it free for all students no matter what financial background they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Human rights
becomes
one of the most important topics in society nowadays. Making high Wrong verb form
have become
education
free is one of this
Correct pronoun usage
these
believes
of Replace the word
beliefs
people
. Higher education
, in my opinion, should be free in terms of benefits for both sides.
Firstly
, the starting point of a person's life shouldn't be decisive in his life. We all know that not every person is born in same
conditions. We can not choose the conditions of our life before birth. Somebody born Correct article usage
the same
in
a rich family, who can afford the Change preposition
into
fee
of the university and others in a family who can not afford it. So, even if a young man born in a poor family is smarter than his Fix the agreement mistake
fees
peer
from a rich family, he cannot be better in terms of social rating. Sometimes Fix the agreement mistake
peers
this
becomes a type of social discrimination.
Secondly
, no country can imagine growth without well-educated people
. It can be rise
in terms of society or economy. Correct article usage
a rise
Country
, Correct article usage
A country
with
spending money on Change preposition
apply
education
of Add an article
the education
people
, is investigating on
its future. A clear example can be given in the image of Uzbekistan. From the first day of Change preposition
apply
independance
, the government adopted a law about Correct your spelling
independence
12 - year
mandatory Correct your spelling
12-year
education
in schools and high
proportion of free places at universities. Add an article
a high
the high
This
movement has been bearing fruit for several years now, by becoming one of the most peacest
and fast-growing Correct your spelling
peaceful
country
in the world.
In conclusion, free university Change to a plural noun
countries
education
is crucial for any society seeking sustainable progress. Expensive tuition fees could kill some young people
's dreams. The government should be responsible for the cost of tertiary education
. Hence
, it would be appropriate for the government to better distribute financial resources in order to do this
.Submitted by shakhzodbek.bakhtiyorov on
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coherence cohesion
The essay introduces the topic, but the introduction could be clearer and more engaging. It would benefit from a thesis statement that clearly outlines your position on the topic. The conclusion summarises the points made but should reinforce your stance with more conviction.
coherence cohesion
Make sure the structure of your essay is logical, with clear paragraphs including topic sentences that introduce the main idea of each paragraph. Use transitional phrases to improve the flow between ideas. Pay attention to paragraphing as this can improve readability and structure.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are supported with reasoning, yet the essay could be strengthened by incorporating more detailed examples and evidence. You've mentioned Uzbekistan as an example, but further elaboration on how free education has led to growth would make your argument more convincing.
task achievement
You have addressed the task, but the response could be more complete. Expand on your ideas, providing a deeper exploration of the issue. Ensure each paragraph fully develops a central point that relates to the main argument of the essay.
task achievement
The ideas presented are relevant, but they need to be expressed more comprehensively. This includes going beyond stating that education should be free, explaining how this can be implemented, and discussing potential challenges and solutions.
task achievement
Examples used should be more relevant and specific. While you mentioned Uzbekistan, specifics on how free education has impacted growth are lacking. Use concise and precise examples to substantiate your arguments and demonstrate a clear understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.