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Some people think that competitive sports have a positive effect on the education of teenagers while others argue that the effect is negative. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #sports #effect #education #teenagers
While
 it is believed by some that competitive
sports
 can contribute to positive impacts on the education of
teenagers
,others claim that there are negative consequences.
This
 essay will delve into the details of both points of view
in addition
 to my opinion. To commence with, some people believe that some positive influences on the education of
teenagers
 can happen because of the competition in the
sports
 field. To illustrate
this
, these kinds of activities partially affect the cells of the brain to be active and healthy.
As a result
, the
teenagers
 who work out these exercises are able to comprehend the complex tasks of the schools within
relatively
Add an article
a relatively
show examples
 short period of time.
According to
 a survey done by Ealing School in the U.K
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
Moreover
, their social level
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
 surged owing to these sorts of activities,which is really important for the learning of
teenagers
. Despite
this
 justification, I am inclined to think neither. From another point of view,others say that ego and selfishness all of these negative adjectives extent caused by competitive
sports
.
This
 is because all of the participants are keen on winning whatever the result will be. These negative emotions affect directly the absorptive capacity of their brains,so they will not be able to grasp difficult subjects What is more ,
teenagers
 will focus on business and not exert effort in studying.
Therefore
, their educational results will be hindered. So as to the given reasons, what some schools did was deter these activities and
made
Verb problem
strike
show examples
 a
strike
Replace the word
striking
show examples
 balance between learning and play. Take my brother's school as a clear example the pupils were forced to leave out these kinds of play because of the given justifications. So as not to suffer from the given negative consequences the schools have to embrace the mentioned approach.
Hence
, it seems to me that it would be better for youth
to do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
not to work out these types of
sports
 in order to make progress on their educational level. In a nutshell,
although
 competitive
sports
 have positive impacts, they bring about drawbacks for youngster in their education
according to
 the aforementioned clarifications.
Submitted by nadeenelkenawy4425 on

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Task Achievement
Task achievement could be improved by creating a more detailed and explicit discussion of both views, followed by a clear personal stance that is consistently supported throughout the essay. Make sure that each paragraph's main point is directly related to the question prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion
Coherence and cohesion would benefit from more logical sequencing of ideas and a clearer progression of thought. Transition words and phrases can be used more effectively to guide the reader through the argument and to emphasize the relationships between ideas.
Introduction and Conclusion
To boost your score, ensure that your introduction and conclusion are clear, relevant to the topic, and reflect the content of the essay. Refrain from introducing entirely new arguments in the conclusion that were not discussed in the body of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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