Some people think that competitive sports have a positive effect on the education of teenagers while others argue that the effect is negative. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
While
it is believed by some that competitive sports
can contribute to positive impacts on the education of teenagers
,others claim that there are negative consequences.This
essay will delve into the details of both points of view in addition
to my opinion.
To commence with, some people believe that some positive influences on the education of teenagers
can happen because of the competition in the sports
field. To illustrate this
, these kinds of activities partially affect the cells of the brain to be active and healthy. As a result
, the teenagers
who work out these exercises are able to comprehend the complex tasks of the schools within relatively
short period of time. Add an article
a relatively
According to
a survey done by Ealing School in the U.K..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
Moreover
, their social level is
surged owing to these sorts of activities,which is really important for the learning of Verb problem
has
teenagers
. Despite this
justification, I am inclined to think neither.
From another point of view,others say that ego and selfishness all of these negative adjectives extent caused by competitive sports
.This
is because all of the participants are keen on winning whatever the result will be. These negative emotions affect directly the absorptive capacity of their brains,so they will not be able to grasp difficult subjects
What is more , teenagers
will focus on business and not exert effort in studying. Therefore
, their educational results will be hindered. So as to the given reasons, what some schools did was deter these activities and made
a Verb problem
strike
strike
balance between learning and play. Take my brother's school as a clear example the pupils were forced to leave out these kinds of play because of the given justifications. So as not to suffer from the given negative consequences the schools have to embrace the mentioned approach. Replace the word
striking
Hence
, it seems to me that it would be better for youth to do
not to work out these types of Verb problem
apply
sports
in order to make progress on their educational level.
In a nutshell, although
competitive sports
have positive impacts, they bring about drawbacks for youngster in their education according to
the aforementioned clarifications.Submitted by nadeenelkenawy4425 on
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Task Achievement
Task achievement could be improved by creating a more detailed and explicit discussion of both views, followed by a clear personal stance that is consistently supported throughout the essay. Make sure that each paragraph's main point is directly related to the question prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion
Coherence and cohesion would benefit from more logical sequencing of ideas and a clearer progression of thought. Transition words and phrases can be used more effectively to guide the reader through the argument and to emphasize the relationships between ideas.
Introduction and Conclusion
To boost your score, ensure that your introduction and conclusion are clear, relevant to the topic, and reflect the content of the essay. Refrain from introducing entirely new arguments in the conclusion that were not discussed in the body of the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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