In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Transportation
involves in
5o many part of our lives Change preposition
apply
everyday
as not only does it helps us deliver stuff faster, but Correct your spelling
every day
also
helps us moving
from Change the form of the verb
move
a
place to another one Correct determiner usage
one
easier
. In some countries, it is argued Rephrase
more easily
that
whether the budget for Correct word choice
apply
transportation
should be spent on developing the ones which already exist or to allocate it to new railway lines for speedy trains
. Many may say, and I agree, only
when we improve what we have Correct word choice
that only
first,
can we owe such
an improved country.
Constructing new public transports
like fast Fix the agreement mistake
transport
trains
can be a huge improvement as it can reduce the time we spent
on roads.
Wrong verb form
spend
Besides
, it can encourage so many tourists from countries which have no such
a thing to ones having it. For example
, Japan is one of the places that provides speedy trains
between cities. That is
, not only does Japan extend its economic
, but Replace the word
economy
also
it provides an easier travel
for whoever Remove the article
easier travel
an easier journey
an easier trip
use
Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
this
new vehicle.
However
, some other people assume that enlarging existing transportation
vehicles
is more significant as they are used more by local people. That is
, developing buses, trains
, subways and other vehicles
can provide better service to workers who use
these public transports every day.
Moreover
, I think focusing on existing public vehicles
prevent
the emissions of pollution as people Correct subject-verb agreement
prevents
use
their own cars less. For instance
, there are some special vehicles
in Iran in a tourist zone called Tochal that work by electricity, so anyone can use
it
.
In conclusion, every country has a limited budget for improving Correct pronoun usage
them
transportation
, so they have to consider spending it on
Change preposition
in
a
most Change the article
the
profit
way.Replace the word
profitable
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task achievement
The essay attempted to address the prompt, but the task response lacked full development. Arguments were presented; however, they would benefit from further exploration and a clearer stance from the candidate. The essay must fully address both sides of the argument in a balanced manner as well as clearly articulate a personal opinion.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrated some structure, but the coherence and cohesion were weakened by unclear transitions, non-sequential argument progression and occasional lapses in cohesion. The introduction and conclusion were present but require more effectiveness in terms of presenting and summarizing the main points. Use linking words strategically to enhance the logical flow and create cohesive paragraphs that support each point with relevant detail.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.