Shops should not be allowed to sell any food or drinks that have been scientifically proven to be bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In
this
day and age, unhealthy Linking Words
food
and drink Use synonyms
has
become the norm in many parts of the world. From my perspective, every business should be abandoned to sell products which are Change the verb form
have
convinced
to be harmful to Verb problem
considered
human
for several reasons.
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
Firstly
, each year, a huge number of people Linking Words
were
diagnosed with serious diseases Wrong verb form
are
such
as obesity and diabetes Linking Words
due to
unhealthy Linking Words
food
. Part of the explanation lies in the fact that a corner shop in your Use synonyms
neighborhood
provides a lot of Change the spelling
neighbourhood
food
which is microwavable, time-saving, cheap and suitable for people with Use synonyms
hectic
Add an article
a hectic
schedule
. Fix the agreement mistake
schedules
As a result
, they tend to buy them every day and catch a disease. Linking Words
For example
, the obesity rate in the USA is always an enduring issue, because the Linking Words
American
prefer to choose comfort Fix the agreement mistake
Americans
food
Use synonyms
instead
of organic ones. Linking Words
However
, Linking Words
due to
the national culture and mindset obstacles, some countries believe that the citizens keep it as their cultural identity that can not be changed for any Linking Words
reasons
. It seems quite clear that unhealthy Fix the agreement mistake
reason
food
has a growing popularity because of its convenience, which is considered as one of the unaltered Use synonyms
culture
.
Change to a plural noun
cultures
Apart from
Linking Words
this
, another aspect is that various businesses are taking advantage of unhealthy Linking Words
food
to earn more profits. Materials and inventory costs of convenience Use synonyms
food
are widely supposed to be cheaper than those of organic Use synonyms
food
. Use synonyms
This
will exert a far-reaching influence on human lifestyle and health. Street Linking Words
food
in Vietnam is quoted as an example of Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
,
because they do not spend much money on materials. More people, especially the young, love eating them, though. Remove the comma
apply
On the other hand
, tourism is the main industry in many countries around the world, in which fast Linking Words
food
, junk Use synonyms
food
, convenience Use synonyms
food
and street Use synonyms
food
display the Use synonyms
characterisitic
of an area, attracting millions of tourists annually. Probably, there is some truth in the idea that unhealthy Correct your spelling
characteristic
characteristics
food
companies are contributing to the health of the economy even though the products are proven to be unhealthy for the citizens.
In conclusion, it might be time to take Use synonyms
the
human health into consideration despite the fact that it affects the culture and the economy of a country.Correct article usage
apply
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task achievement
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, and that these are all focused on answering the task. The introduction should contain a thesis statement that clearly presents your opinion on the topic, while the conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your position.
coherence cohesion
While your essay generally follows a logical structure, some paragraphs appear to be unfocused and the ideas could be better organized. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea, and use topic sentences and supporting sentences effectively to develop that idea.
task achievement
Your essay provides some relevant examples; however, more specificity and depth in these examples would strengthen your arguments. Aim to use a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary, while ensuring precision and accuracy in language use.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, use transition words and phrases to connect ideas, paragraphs, and sentences coherently. Consider the flow of ideas throughout the essay, and ensure that it is easy for the reader to follow your argument from one point to the next.