Prevention is better than cure. Out of a country’s health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and prevention measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
These days, an increasing number of viruses and infections has become an unavoidable problem for
a
society. Remove the article
apply
Hence
, it is argued that prophylactic procedures should be concentrated on, rather than curing an existing disease. I strongly agree with this
point, as being conscious of your wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
prevent
the sickness Correct subject-verb agreement
prevents
to occur
. Change preposition
from occurring
This
is
essay will discuss the reasons for my view.
Unnecessary verb
apply
To begin
with, people who reside in less developed nations with low monthly wages are not able to afford expensive doctors. Moreover
, some of them are not aware how
to treat themselves in order to cure a disease properly. Change preposition
of how
Hence
, if the authorities invest money in education and inform citizens about vital vitamins, exercises, nutritious diet and other activities, this
prevent
many poor health conditions Change the verb form
prevents
to emerge
. Change preposition
from emerging
For instance
, during the COVID pandemic
the lack of knowledge caused the rise in mortality rates, as the government did not provide measures and solutions in time.
Add a comma
pandemic,
Furthermore
, creating awareness about health from an early age promotes strong mental and physical wellbeing
in the future. Correct your spelling
well-being
Hence
, if the governemnt
Correct your spelling
government
contribute
to the construction of outdoor spaces for children, Correct subject-verb agreement
contributes
such
as playgrounds, parks and sports fields, this
will lead to stop many diseases from happening. For example
, it was proved that physical activities deter diabetes and obesity but
Correct word choice
and
also
improve cardiovascular health. Additionally
, providing free memberships to participate in sports, like football, soccer, basketball and volleyball supports young people's collaboration and team work
, which are essential qualities for Correct your spelling
teamwork
the
emotional wellness.
In conclusion, providing Correct article usage
apply
Correct article usage
a budget
budget
for prevention rather than remedy, increases Correct article usage
a budget
Correct article usage
the chances
chances
Correct article usage
the chances
to stay
healthier in the future and builds Change preposition
of staying
an
awareness about your body.Remove the article
apply
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task achievement
Ensure that the essay has a clear position throughout and that the introduction clearly presents the topic and your stance.
task achievement
Work on presenting ideas more comprehensively by developing each paragraph with a clear main idea, supported by relevant explanations and examples.
task achievement
Provide a conclusion that adequately summarizes the essay's main points and reiterates your stance.
coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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