IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Many people believe it's better to learn something new in a group than individually? Do you agree or disagree.

#people #group
Undoubtedly, a
group
 of individuals deemed that it is effective to learn something new in a squad,
while
 other
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
 that learning alone is more beneficial. I completely agree towards
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
 statement owing to some reasons which I will hash out in the
further
 paragraphs.
Firstly
, there are a number of advantages
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 learning in a
group
, but the main one is that,
with in
Correct your spelling
within
show examples
 a gathering members can encourage each other in
a difficult tasks
Correct the article-noun agreement
a difficult task
difficult tasks
show examples
.
For instance
, if one
did
Wrong verb form
does
show examples
 not understand
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
things
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 can explain to them more
patiencely
Correct your spelling
patiently
patience
 by giving personal examples.
Thus
, they will
able
Add a missing verb
be able
show examples
 to pursue the task confidently. To
site
Correct your spelling
cite
show examples
 an example, when I was in 6th grade, the teacher of mathematics
give
Wrong verb form
gave
show examples
 us a task to solve, but it was not a piece of cake to solve it individually. So, she
maked
Correct your spelling
made
show examples
 a
group
 of three students and
afterwards
Add a comma
afterwards,
show examples
 we got a correct answer
while
 solving a task in a gathering.
Secondly
,
squad
Add an article
the squad
a squad
show examples
 can tackle more complex problems than they could on their own. To illustrate it more,
every one
Correct your spelling
everyone
show examples
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 different abilities
of
Replace the preposition
to
show examples
 think and solve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
problem with
this
 they can solve more complex projects easily.
Moreover
,
while
 studying in a
group
 pupils will
also
 boost their confidence
as well as
 improve their communication skills because
while
 talking to each other in a gathering they will not become shy and can speak in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
front of
whole
Add an article
the whole
show examples
.
Furthermore
, in a
group
 folks understand better in the
group
 and
this
also
encourage
Change the verb form
encourages
show examples
perfect
Correct article usage
a perfect
show examples
 study environment. In conclusion,
although
masses
Correct article usage
the masses
show examples
 think it is better to learn individually,
yet
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
if they study in a
group
 they could improve their skills, boost
confidence
Correct pronoun usage
their confidence
show examples
as well as
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
learn different methods to tackle
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
problems by learning
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
 each other.
Submitted by svmaibcamaibs on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Be sure to structure your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea with logical sequencing of information and arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that your introduction effectively sets the scene for your essay and clearly states your position on the topic, while your conclusion should effectively summarize your points and restate your position without introducing new information.
Coherence & Cohesion
Each main point in your argument should be well-developed and supported by concrete examples or explanations. While you provided examples, try to develop them further to show a deeper understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
Your essay should fully respond to the task with a clear position throughout, and each part of the prompt should be addressed. Make sure all sentences and ideas contribute to developing your argument related to the question.
Task Achievement
Present your ideas clearly and expand upon them to show your understanding of the topic. Provide comprehensive explanations and ensure that your essay demonstrates thoughtful reflection on the subject.
Task Achievement
In addition to giving general examples, include specific, relevant instances that clearly support your point of view and demonstrate a personal engagement with the topic. This will also help to make your essay more persuasive and relatable to the reader.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • collaborative environment
  • discussion
  • debate
  • exchange of ideas
  • critical soft skills
  • communication
  • teamwork
  • leadership
  • emotional and motivational support
  • isolating
  • personalized pace
  • efficient learning
  • self-discipline
  • accountability
  • educational progress
  • distractions
  • group dynamics
  • commitment
What to do next:
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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