Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programms ( for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children) to ehat extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #part #school #programms #charity #neighborhood #sports #children #ehat

Corresponding to some individuals, the compulsion of social service should be made in high school programs

such

as working for the welfare of society, giving sports training to youth and cleaning the neighbourhood. I totally agree with

this

statement as it helps in the betterment of the association. On the one hand, working for culture is a noble job and always appreciated by the people. In present days, young youth are less into unpaid community services as they do not know its value.

For instance

, if teenagers are asked to help without getting paid, most of them might dislike

Change the verb form

working

show examples

work

to help

Change the verb form

helping

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

old age people.

Moreover

, most institutes are encompassed with a rudimentary education system that provides only theoretical education rather than how to be accountable for civilization. If the authority made compulsion in

department

Add an article

the department

show examples

to have at least one subject related to the importance and its positive impact on public

then

children might

encouraged

Change the verb form

be encouraged

show examples

towards noble works.

As a result

, these children tend to be more engaged with either charity

work

or teaching their peers different sports.

On the other hand

, the obligation of community service in secondary school might negatively affect the students.

As well as

they have a huge academic and career pressure. There is a saying that forceful

work

is the

work

of evil, which means

this

work

does not have a good impact on individuals and on

nation

Fix the agreement mistake

nations

show examples

However

, some child belongs to the poor financial backgrounds and it is unfair to them to do something for others rather than

work

to earn a living for their own family. I reiterate, that the enforcement of social welfare in high school benefits society in many positive ways.

However

this

leads to more stress in students.

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coherence cohesion

Ensure a clear and logical organization of ideas throughout, using appropriate paragraphing to create coherence.

coherence cohesion

Introduce each paragraph with a clear topic sentence and follow this with supporting details to enhance cohesion.

coherence cohesion

Make effective use of linking words to connect ideas and paragraphs, but avoid overusing them in a way that becomes mechanical.

task achievement

Develop each main point fully with explanations and relevant examples to meet the task's requirements.

task achievement

Maintain a clear position throughout the response, addressing all parts of the prompt evenly.

task achievement

Consider including a wider range of sentence structures and vocabulary to convey ideas more precisely.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

293 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programms ( for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children) to ehat extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that governments should give financial support to creative artists such as painters and musicians. Others believe that creative artists should be funded by alternative sources. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

You and your colleagues want to use a company room. Write a letter to your manager and ask for permission. In your letter. Explain why you need the room. Describe which room you need and why. Tell what changes you'll need in the room.

A lot of places in the world rely on tourist as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not well-managed. what are the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world? do you think that the benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree?