Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programms ( for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children) to ehat extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #part #school #programms #charity #neighborhood #sports #children #ehat

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Corresponding to some individuals, the compulsion of social service should be made in high school programs

such

Linking Words

as working for the welfare of society, giving sports training to youth and cleaning the neighbourhood. I totally agree with

this

Linking Words

statement as it helps in the betterment of the association. On the one hand, working for culture is a noble job and always appreciated by the people. In present days, young youth are less into unpaid community services as they do not know its value.

For instance

Linking Words

, if teenagers are asked to help without getting paid, most of them might dislike

Change the verb form

working

show examples

work

Use synonyms

to help

Change the verb form

helping

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

old age people.

Moreover

Linking Words

, most institutes are encompassed with a rudimentary education system that provides only theoretical education rather than how to be accountable for civilization. If the authority made compulsion in

department

Add an article

the department

show examples

to have at least one subject related to the importance and its positive impact on public

then

Linking Words

children might

encouraged

Change the verb form

be encouraged

show examples

towards noble works.

As a result

Linking Words

, these children tend to be more engaged with either charity

work

Use synonyms

or teaching their peers different sports.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the obligation of community service in secondary school might negatively affect the students.

As well as

Linking Words

they have a huge academic and career pressure. There is a saying that forceful

work

Use synonyms

is the

work

Use synonyms

of evil, which means

this

Linking Words

work

Use synonyms

does not have a good impact on individuals and on

nation

Fix the agreement mistake

nations

show examples

However

Linking Words

, some child belongs to the poor financial backgrounds and it is unfair to them to do something for others rather than

work

Use synonyms

to earn a living for their own family. I reiterate, that the enforcement of social welfare in high school benefits society in many positive ways.

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

leads to more stress in students.

Submitted by munojotbulboyeva on Fri Dec 01 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Ensure a clear and logical organization of ideas throughout, using appropriate paragraphing to create coherence.

coherence cohesion

Introduce each paragraph with a clear topic sentence and follow this with supporting details to enhance cohesion.

coherence cohesion

Make effective use of linking words to connect ideas and paragraphs, but avoid overusing them in a way that becomes mechanical.

task achievement

Develop each main point fully with explanations and relevant examples to meet the task's requirements.

task achievement

Maintain a clear position throughout the response, addressing all parts of the prompt evenly.

task achievement

Consider including a wider range of sentence structures and vocabulary to convey ideas more precisely.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

293 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Some argue that there is no point in spending money on wildlife protection because we humans have no need for them. I totally disagree with this view.
Some argue that there is no point in spending money on wildlife protection because we humans have no need for them. I totally disagree with this view.
6.5
band
In the modern era, it is easy to sell, buy and work with others through the internet. But others are against it. Do you think this is a positive trend or a negative trend?
Whereas some individuals are against practising basic tasks such as commercial operations and work, through Internet, another group support this advancement. This essay strongly believes that internet advancement should be welcomed as, it can help us to save time and extra costs related to transportation when people practice basic tasks. On top of that, it allows to provide access to essential activities around the world, even in rural and remote areas, making the opportunities more equitable for everyone.
6.5
band
Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others, however, say that cooperation and team working skills are more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Although it is sometimes thought that schools ought to teach children to compete, other people believe that the focus should be on cooperation. In my opinion, I consider that competition helps children learn the most important skills for their future life.
8
band
Nowadays, advertisement targeting children is on the rise. Some people think that it has a negative impact and should be banned. Do you agree or disagree?
Since the expansion of media, one of its main usages has been advertisement. The adverts target all age groups including some of the more vulnerable ones, such as children. Many believe that all advertisements targeting them should be excluded from all platforms. This seems to be the correct line of action as the effects of such programmes on children are much deeper than on adults.
6.5
band
Smoking is a habit that claims many lives and is a great drain on health services. One way to combat smoking would be to make it illegal. What are the pros and cons of such a government policy? What alternative strategies can you suggest to combat smoking?
The enormous consumption of healthcare resources and the loss of life could be attributed to smoking. One way of combating this trend is to prohibit the usage. The benefit of making smoking unlawful is that, it will enable smokers to stop the routine. I would suggest that the authorities should enforce strict laws such as imprisonment for anyone found guilty. However, there may be drawbacks to be taken into account.

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programms ( for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children) to ehat extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some argue that there is no point in spending money on wildlife protection because we humans have no need for them. I totally disagree with this view.

In the modern era, it is easy to sell, buy and work with others through the internet. But others are against it. Do you think this is a positive trend or a negative trend?

Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others, however, say that cooperation and team working skills are more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Nowadays, advertisement targeting children is on the rise. Some people think that it has a negative impact and should be banned. Do you agree or disagree?

Smoking is a habit that claims many lives and is a great drain on health services. One way to combat smoking would be to make it illegal. What are the pros and cons of such a government policy? What alternative strategies can you suggest to combat smoking?