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Band 5.5

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programms ( for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children) to ehat extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #part #school #programms #charity #neighborhood #sports #children #ehat
Corresponding to some individuals, the compulsion of social service should be made in high school programs
such
 as working for the welfare of society, giving sports training to youth and cleaning the neighbourhood. I totally agree with
this
 statement as it helps in the betterment of the association. On the one hand, working for culture is a noble job and always appreciated by the people. In present days, young youth are less into unpaid community services as they do not know its value.
For instance
, if teenagers are asked to help without getting paid, most of them might dislike
to
Change the verb form
working
show examples
work
 or
to help
Change the verb form
helping
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
old age people.
Moreover
, most institutes are encompassed with a rudimentary education system that provides only theoretical education rather than how to be accountable for civilization. If the authority made compulsion in
department
Add an article
the department
show examples
 to have at least one subject related to the importance and its positive impact on public
then
 children might
encouraged
Change the verb form
be encouraged
show examples
 towards noble works.
As a result
, these children tend to be more engaged with either charity
work
 or teaching their peers different sports.
On the other hand
, the obligation of community service in secondary school might negatively affect the students.
As well as
 they have a huge academic and career pressure. There is a saying that forceful
work
 is the
work
 of evil, which means
this
work
 does not have a good impact on individuals and on
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
.
However
, some child belongs to the poor financial backgrounds and it is unfair to them to do something for others rather than
work
 to earn a living for their own family. I reiterate, that the enforcement of social welfare in high school benefits society in many positive ways.
However
,
this
 leads to more stress in students.
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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Linking words for giving examples:

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  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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