Death penalty is still practiced in jurisdiction system of many countries. Some people believe that this type of punishment should be abolished. However, others are of opposite opinion. Discuss both sides of this debate and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
countries
Add an article
the countries
show examples
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
have been using
death
Correct article usage
the death
show examples
setence
Correct your spelling
sentences
to handle severe crimes which were
commited
Correct your spelling
committed
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
while
some
competely
Correct your spelling
completely
banned
such
punishments. Both sides have valid reasons to prove their points,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
will be discussed in the following paragraphs
along with
my viewpoint. To commence with, some nations believe that
death
penality
Correct your spelling
penalty
show examples
is
cruial
Correct your spelling
crucial
to curb many serious criminal activities. Serious killers like
drug-dealers
Correct your spelling
drug dealers
show examples
and kidnappers who killed people with cold
heart
Fix the agreement mistake
hearts
show examples
should be
dealth
Correct your spelling
dealt
with
such
punishments. Apart from that, terrorists and
rapist
Fix the agreement mistake
rapists
show examples
are not controlled by
priosns
Correct your spelling
prisoners
,
even
Correct word choice
and even
show examples
life sentences could not improve their nature.
For instance
, Osama Bin Laden who was the mastermind of
Correct article usage
the
show examples
9/11 attack which
happend
Correct your spelling
happened
in America was
sentented
Correct your spelling
sentenced
to
death
for killing many innocent residents of
united
Correct article usage
the united
show examples
states.
On the contrary
, some folks believe,
murders
Replace the word
murderers
show examples
and rapists are not born with
this
attitude, they might be deprived of basic facilities like education.
Therefore
, their behaviour might be changed by keeping them behind
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bars, and
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
basic education to find a suitable job.
Moreover
, some offenders might learn some
lessions
Correct your spelling
lessons
from their previous mistakes, so they could be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
in the future. To encapsulate, though,
sentence
Correct article usage
a sentence
show examples
to
death
is hard to accept,
however
, it is crucial to eradicate the crime. In my opinion,
death
penality
Correct your spelling
penalty
show examples
should only
applicable
Add a missing verb
be applicable
show examples
when
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
show examples
community or earth
in
Add a missing verb
is in
show examples
danger on account of someone, if there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
some hope for improvement,
then
it should be delayed or postponed.
Submitted by parneetkhangura62 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Your essay partially addresses the task. Improve by clearly discussing both viewpoints and providing a more nuanced explanation of your own opinion.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices effectively and ensure paragraphs are well-structured. Your essay exhibited a lack of clear logical progression in places.
task achievement
Discuss both views thoroughly and provide supporting examples for each point made. Your essay included examples but they should be more directly relevant and specific to the argument presented.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • capital punishment
  • jurisdiction
  • deterrent
  • morality
  • rehabilitation
  • wrongful convictions
  • innocence
  • retribution
  • ethical dilemmas
  • life sentence
  • judicial system
  • human rights
  • lethal injection
  • electric chair
  • justice
  • penal system
  • recidivism
  • appeal process
  • clemency
  • miscarriage of justice
What to do next:
Look at other essays: