Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are requiered. Discuss both these views and your own opinion.
According to
some individuals, little result on social health
has measurements on requirement
in order to take care, Add an article
the requirement
a requirement
nevertheless
others have the other opinions that the improvement of the best method is the increase by many sports Add a comma
nevertheless,
activities
. I will support this
view and my reasons will be explained in the following paragraphs.
It is true that effects Wrong verb form
surrounding
surrounded
Wrong verb form
surrounding
Change preposition
apply
by
the improvement Change preposition
apply
Change preposition
in
on
public Change preposition
in
health
Correct subject-verb agreement
belong
belongs
to sports actions which Correct subject-verb agreement
belong
means
that Change the verb form
mean
Correct article usage
a health
Replace the word
healthy
health
lifestyle demands doing exercise regularly in the morning days. Replace the word
healthy
For instance
, if any individuals do running activities
constantly, this
helps their well-being improving well
. Wrong verb form
improve
Moreover
, most people are able to boost their public health
while
they have routinely
the opportunity of Rephrase
apply
activities
such
as going swimming, playing
tennis, football and Correct word choice
and playing
voleyball
games rather than being sedentary conditions.
Despite the fact that others reckon that some specific requirements should be helpful to care with drugs in hospitals. Correct your spelling
volleyball
Moreover
, if some humans are unable to live the presence of healthy occasions which means to
Correct your spelling
it
become
possible to get any illnesses , they may have the
obligation of treatment with particular medicines in order to heal quickly. Verb problem
is
In addition
that
, as older people rather than young have Correct pronoun usage
apply
not
methods to heal frequently Correct your spelling
no
that
they are diseased irretrievable Correct word choice
apply
such
as heart attack, diabets, cancer
, Correct word choice
and cancer
they
are regularly under the control Correct word choice
and they
on
doctors. Change preposition
of
Moreover
, every individuals
must have regard to hygiene and Change to a singular noun
individual
health
regulations in order not to be ill.
In conclusion that
I Correct word choice
apply
beleive
that every person Correct your spelling
believe
have
to know the compulsory of following hygiene for Change the verb form
has
Correct article usage
a health
health
lifestyle rather than Replace the word
healthy
to stay
in Change the verb form
staying
hospitals
. Fix the agreement mistake
hospital
And
Correct word choice
Also
also
older people must regularly do healthy sport
Change the noun form
sports
activities
since their childhood without sedentary
. If they do not do Add a missing verb
being sedentary
like
that, Change preposition
apply
then
it will be late.Submitted by munojotbulboyeva on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay should have a clear and logical structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single idea and that your ideas flow in a logical order.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs. However, use them accurately and ensure they fit the context properly to maintain the logical flow of the essay.
Task Achievement
Your essay must fully address all parts of the task. Make sure to discuss both views mentioned in the prompt and also clearly state your own opinion on the matter.
Task Achievement
Ideas presented should be developed and expanded on with explanations and examples. Avoid presenting ideas that are vague or too general. Be specific and deliberate in your writing, providing clear rationale and examples where necessary.
Task Achievement
Use specific examples to support your ideas. These examples help to illustrate your point and make your arguments more convincing. Examples should be relevant and directly support the point you are making.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.