Fewer and fewer young people are choosing to become teachers. Why do young people not want to be teachers? How this could be changed?

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It is undeniable that children`s
education
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

has become
essential
Add an article
an essential

The noun phrase essential part seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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part of our life.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, one of the widely discussed issues nowadays is the unwillingness of the young generation to become teachers. One of the main causes of
it
Correct pronoun usage
this

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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is relatively low teachers` wages and high demands from the Ministry of
Education
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

on top of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

. I believe that increasing teachers` salaries and creating a more attractive environment for professional growth could positively change the situation. Today, unfortunately, school educators have one of the lowest wages among the other professions. Certainly, it is pretty hard to hold
the
Correct article usage
a

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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job, even if you like it, when you have difficulties feeding your family.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, most of them have to spend their personal evening free time
on
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apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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preparing
school
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for school

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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programs or other activities related to their job, and frequently it could take a whole night.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, many schoolteachers in the CIS countries spend more than 80 hours per week on work activities, and more
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

then
Correct your spelling
than

The word then doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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half of them claim that they are not happy with their salaries. To solve
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

problem the government should raise teachers` salaries and provide the opportunity for professional growth for proactive specialists. It could be advanced training abroad,
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as international experience exchange with foreign
colleages
Correct your spelling
colleagues

If you don’t want colleages to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is well known that
in
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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medicine is using
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

approach
Correct article usage
an approach

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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to increase the
qualfication
Correct your spelling
qualification

If you don’t want qualfication to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

level for medical workers, and we can see there is no shortage of employees. In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into account I would argue that school
education
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is
fundamental
Add an article
a fundamental

The noun phrase fundamental part seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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part of our nation, and teachers are
main
Add an article
the main
a main

The noun phrase main part seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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part of it. Obviously,
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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society should create the winning conditions for
education
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

staff that I mentioned above, which will increase students` interest in the profession.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, a well-developed body, and a succinct conclusion. Each of these should serve their purpose effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay should be organized logically, with clear cohesion between ideas. Use paragraphing effectively to separate your main points and help the reader follow your argument.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to substantiate your arguments; you have mentioned CIS countries generally, but a specific country and factual data would strengthen your point.
task achievement
Develop each main point fully to show a clear understanding of the topic. All main points should be well-supported and explained.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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