Some people think that it would be better for large companies and industries to move to regional areas outside large urban centers. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #companies #industries #move #areas #centers

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Nowadays,

companies

Use synonyms

getting bigger and bigger.Moving to outside large regional

areas

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both have pros and

cones

Correct your spelling

cons

show examples

.Yes,

advantages

Correct article usage

the advantages

show examples

outweight

Correct your spelling

outweigh

the disadvantages surely.

Firstly

Linking Words

,in

crowd

Replace the word

crowded

show examples

cities,

companies

Use synonyms

cannot continue producing well and clean.Because of that, fabrics and big

companies

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should move their places to wide,empty and

finally

Linking Words

far from

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

because producing something is causing a lot of

pollution

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For instance

Linking Words

while

Linking Words

making one car fabrics cause air

pollution

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

have toxic waste

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

Linking Words

lastly

Add a comma

lastly,

show examples

Linking Words

this

Change the determiner

these

show examples

big

companies

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need big and deep trash dumping spaces.

In addition

Linking Words

,moving to empty and regional

areas

Use synonyms

is really helpful for

job

Use synonyms

opportunity

Fix the agreement mistake

opportunities

show examples

for local people.

For example

Linking Words

, people in the city surely can find a lot of types of

Use synonyms

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the people in the regional

areas

Use synonyms

cannot find

Use synonyms

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

easily.Moving these

companies

Use synonyms

Correct article usage

the countrysides

show examples

countrysides

Fix the agreement mistake

countryside

show examples

or regional places will increase

employement

Correct your spelling

employment

numbers in countries. In conclusion,Moving fabrics and big

companies

Use synonyms

to regional,large and empty

areas

Use synonyms

will decrease air

pollution

Use synonyms

and sound

pollution

Use synonyms

Also

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

move will increase

job

Use synonyms

opportunity

Fix the agreement mistake

opportunities

show examples

in the country.Because of that advantages

outweights

Correct your spelling

outweighed

the disadvantages for sure.

Submitted by canberkakkaya1327 on Fri Dec 01 2023

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grammar

Your essay lacks complexity in sentence structure and suffers from numerous grammatical errors. Proper punctuation and varied sentence structures are important to improve readability and coherence.

structure

The introduction and conclusion are present but are not fully developed. Both should clearly state the main idea and summarise the key points of the essay.

development

Your main points are pertinent, but they need to be supported by more detailed explanations and relevant examples. Expanding on these points will enhance the essay's persuasiveness and depth.

argumentation

The response tends to be repetitive and simplistic. Consider discussing both sides of the argument to produce a more nuanced answer, which is a requirement for a higher band score.

cohesion

The logical structure of your essay is not very clear. Ideas should be organized in a way that they flow naturally from one to the next, with appropriate use of paragraphing and linking words.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

173 words

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Some people think that it would be better for large companies and industries to move to regional areas outside large urban centers. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Your opinion

Prevention is more important than cure. researching and treating disease is very costly, so it is better to invest in preventative measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve the growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Some people say that professional workers such as doctors, nurses and teachers who make greater contributions to the society should be paid more than those people in the field of sports and entertainment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us longer pay attention to it.to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.