Death penalty is still practiced in jurisdiction system of many countries. Some people believe that this type of punishment should be abolished. However, others are of opposite opinion. Discuss both sides of this debate and give your own opinion.

An array of masses believe sentencing to the
death
needs to be stopped
although
it is
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
now
practice
Wrong verb form
practised
show examples
in most countries
while
others say it needs to be continued.
According to
various religious backgrounds, people might argue it is not ethical to kill a person, even though he has committed a crime.
However
, I think, the
death
penalty
is an appealing approach to keep law since it makes individuals scared and not commit crimes.
Hence
, both these arguments are discussed in
this
essay. On one hand, a part of society might say the
death
sentence is unethical in the sense of cultural and social values. Most of the countries with strong religious bases do not accept killing criminals because it is opposite to their teachings. Take Buddhism as an example, Lord Buddha has taught murder as an unreligious act even
a
Correct word choice
if a
show examples
person has made a breach,
therefore
, Sri Lanka as a Buddhist country, has abolished
death
Add an article
the death
show examples
penalty
.
As a result
of theological interferences, the
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
sentence to
death
is unaccepted in many nations.
On the other hand
, I believe,
being
Correct word choice
that being
show examples
afraid of
death
Add an article
the death
show examples
penalty
can minimize the number of offences that take place in a community. Every human being loves his own life,
therefore
, even a serial killer is fond of his own,
hence
, people get fearful of executing an unlawful deed.
For instance
, research has shown the number of crimes in countries where the
death
penalty
is present is significantly lesser than in others.
Thus
, I think executing killing as a punishment for offensive acts can minimise law violations in a nation. In conclusion, some say the
death
penalty
is against social values
according to
religious beliefs
hence
Correct word choice
and hence
show examples
should be removed from
judicial
Correct article usage
the judicial
show examples
system,
meanwhile
Add a comma
meanwhile,
show examples
others say it is an excellent advancement in law to control the number of violations in a country. I agree with the continuation of the
death
penalty
as a punishment ,
thus
it prevents culprits
fro
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
doing misdeeds.
Submitted by tlakshani005 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure logical sequencing of ideas and effective use of cohesive devices. Your essay should have a clear progression of thoughts with a beginning, middle, and end. While the overall structure of your essay is adequate, aim for a more sophisticated use of paragraphing and linking words to enhance the flow.
task achievement
Remember to fully respond to the task prompt, including all parts of the question. Develop your main ideas thoroughly with appropriate examples, and ensure your opinion is clearly presented and consistent throughout. Although you discussed both sides and gave an opinion, developing each point further with more relevant examples and explanations would strengthen your argument.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • capital punishment
  • jurisdiction
  • deterrent
  • morality
  • rehabilitation
  • wrongful convictions
  • innocence
  • retribution
  • ethical dilemmas
  • life sentence
  • judicial system
  • human rights
  • lethal injection
  • electric chair
  • justice
  • penal system
  • recidivism
  • appeal process
  • clemency
  • miscarriage of justice
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