SCIENCE ADVANCED SO MUCH THAT IT CAN NOW MAKE IT POSSIBLE FOR PEOPLE TO LIVE 100 YEARS OR EVEN 200 YEARS. SOME PEOPLE THINK ITS A GOOD THING, WHILE OTHERS THINK IT IS BAD… DISCUSS BOTH THESE VIEWS AND WRITE YOUR OPINION

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Having a long life span of more than 100 years is now possible
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the
advancments
Correct your spelling
advances

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of science.
While
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

some
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

consider
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

phenomenon as a
psitive
Correct your spelling
positive

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matter since
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

can help individuals, especially those with a professional degree, to contribute more to their country, there are others who believe that providing old
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

a longer period of time will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb be appears to be unnecessary here.

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cost an extra charge for governments. On the one hand, the longer life span is said to be beneficial for the productivity of each society.
People
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

who are given the chance to live longer are
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

able to work longer for their country. It means that individuals who have been founded by officials to study in
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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public schools and universities
,
Remove the comma
apply

The comma may be separating the subject and verb in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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will be able to work for a longer period of time
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker if. Consider removing the comma.

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if they live longer.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it takes more than 12 years of higher education for someone to be a general physician,
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

while
Correct word choice
and

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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most of its costs are provided by governments. So If
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

professionals are able to live more to contribute to their society after their graduation, it will be beneficial for the economy of a country.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, old
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

who are given the chance of living more than 100 years will be an extra burden on the shoulders of authorities. As
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

grow older, they
wil
Correct your spelling
will

If you don’t want wil to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

be needing
Wrong verb form
need

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb be needing. Consider changing it.

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more medical care on a regular basis. In
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

circumstances, a great proportion of medical facilities and
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff

It seems that staffs may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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will be obliged to give services to these old
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. So, authorities should spend more money to keep their
health care
Correct your spelling
healthcare

The word health care seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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system
work
Wrong verb form
working

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb work. Consider changing it.

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properly. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

science
have
Change the verb form
has

The plural verb have does not appear to agree with the singular subject science. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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help
Wrong verb form
helped

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb help. Consider changing it.

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humans to live for a longer period of time, and as some believe
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

help
Change the verb form
helps

The verb help does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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those who live longer to contribute to their society more,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

trend
have
Change the verb form
has

The verb have does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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raised some concerns with regard to the extra costs related to the health care system. I believe
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

phenomenon is generally a positive matter because negative aspects could be managed ahead to be reduced in the future.

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure the logical flow of ideas by using a clear topic sentence for each paragraph, followed by supporting sentences, and a concluding sentence. Work on creating a more cohesive link between sentences within paragraphs.
Task Achievement
The essay presents an adequate treatment of the task with a response that addresses both views. However, it could benefit from more detailed development and the use of examples that are directly relevant to the arguments being presented.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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