Currently, there is a trend toward alternative forms of medicine. However, at best these methods are ineffective, and at worst, they may be dangerous.  To what extent do you agree with this statement? Use examples and explanations to support your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The use of traditional medicines has been on the increase in recent times.
However
Linking Words
, these forms of drugs may not work well and
sometimes
Add a missing verb
are sometimes
show examples
harmful to our bodies.
This
Linking Words
essay agrees with
this
Linking Words
statement because not only does little or no research go into the formulation of local medicines, but
also
Linking Words
, these preparations do not treat specific illnesses.
To begin
Linking Words
with, a single alternative medicine may be said to cure a wide range of diseases.
This
Linking Words
is because these formulations are not taken through the necessary processes to extract the exact active ingredient for a specific malady.
Hence
Linking Words
, an individual may not be cured when he takes
such
Linking Words
medication. I once took a traditional drug when I was diagnosed with malaria.
This
Linking Words
preparation was
also
Linking Words
marketed as being effective against fever and headache. On completing it, the fever and headaches I experienced
dissappeared
Correct your spelling
disappeared
and I felt well for a
while
Linking Words
, but they re-surfaced after a few days. I found out I still had the parasites in my blood when I got tested a second time.
Consequently
Linking Words
, I was not cured after swallowing the pills.
In addition
Linking Words
, alternate forms of medicines have not been properly researched
into
Change preposition
apply
show examples
; especially to determine their side
effects
Use synonyms
and contra-indications. In certain parts of the world, herbalists
Linking Words
for
Add the comma(s)
, for
show examples
example, wash the leaves of medicinal plants and offer them to patients to chew. These leaves have not been scientifically tested to determine their negative
effects
Use synonyms
.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, a lot of these patients end up with dangerous outcomes.
For instance
Linking Words
, research has concluded that the pawpaw leaf, which is popular for treating migraine in most developing countries, is the leading cause of kidney disease in
sub-saharan
Change the capitalization
sub-Saharan
show examples
Africa.
Thus
Linking Words
, the lack of research can lead to an increase in the number of people experiencing the toxic
effects
Use synonyms
of
un-orthodox
Correct your spelling
unorthodox
show examples
drugs. In conclusion, other forms of drugs may be less effective and harmful to our bodies despite a general increase in their use. I agree with
this
Linking Words
statement because there is
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of investigations into them.
Secondly
Linking Words
, their positive
effects
Use synonyms
are non-specific.
Submitted by 1kanbliswik2 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your essay should have a clear progression of ideas, logically organised with clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph. It was challenging to follow the train of thought due to a lack of cohesive devices and transitions.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion must restate the question and summarise your argument in a clear and concise manner. Your introduction did not fully paraphrase the task statement, and the conclusion was too simplistic and could benefit from a stronger reaffirmation of your position.
task achievement
To meet the task requirements fully, make sure you answer all parts of the question and present a clear opinion throughout the essay. While you did provide an opinion, it was not consistently clear or well developed.
task achievement
Ideas should be fully extended and well-supported with evidence or examples. Some of your points needed further development and specific evidence to strengthen your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: