Nowadays it has become increasingly popular to shop online rather than too shop in-store. Is this a positive or negative development?

#shop #development

Nowadays online shopping is preferred over buying goods at shops.

This

essay agrees that

this

is a positive development because it is convenient,

cost effective

Add a hyphen

cost-effective

show examples

and saves

time

Internet

Add an article

The Internet

show examples

provides a platform for convenient shopping to billions of

people

across the world.

That is

to say, customers can purchase any item from any part of the planet within a few seconds.

Moreover

people

can easily choose their desired products from a large variety of items available on different websites. Manufacturing details and prices are given with every item, which makes it easier for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

to buy products

according to

their taste and affordability. To give an example, Amazon’s website displays hundreds of products, with their details, which are accessible to

people

all over the world. Online shopping saves customers’

time

that

Correct word choice

and

show examples

can be used on productive activities.

People

do not have to walk or drive to the shopping malls,

instead

Add a comma

instead,

show examples

they can purchase different items from their own homes, and

thus

save

time

In addition

to that, online shopping is

cost effective

Add a hyphen

cost-effective

show examples

in terms of fuel consumption. It is not only beneficial for consumers

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

for the conservation of natural resources.

For example

, in the UK, at least twenty pounds are spent on fuel to go to the nearest shopping mall.

To conclude

, online shopping is a better alternative to shopping at stores because it is not only convenient, but

also

saves

time

and energy.

Submitted by 2024successielts on Fri Dec 01 2023

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coherence cohesion

Include a wider range of cohesive devices and transition words to improve the logical flow of the essay.

coherence cohesion

Develop paragraphs with more supporting details to enhance the argument and provide a deeper analysis.

task achievement

Ensure a clear thesis statement is presented in the introduction to define the essay's stance clearly.

task achievement

Present a balanced argument by discussing potential negatives alongside the positives you've listed, even if you ultimately agree with the statement.

task achievement

Include more varied and detailed examples to support points made, which can also help the essay appear more persuasive and well-researched.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

237 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays it has become increasingly popular to shop online rather than too shop in-store. Is this a positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Society would benefit from a ban on all kinds of advertising because it serves no useful purpose and can be damaging. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In most countries disabled people are not catered for adequately, e.g. buildings are often inappropriately designed. Governments rely too heavily on charities and voluntary organizations to provide assistance and funding. What further measures could be taken to assist disabled people. Discuss.

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Fewer young people play sports these days. why is this? what can be done to encourage more young people to do sports?