Nowadays it has become increasingly popular to shop online rather than too shop in-store. Is this a positive or negative development?

#shop #development

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Nowadays online shopping is preferred over buying goods at shops.

This

Linking Words

essay agrees that

this

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is a positive development because it is convenient,

cost effective

Add a hyphen

cost-effective

show examples

and saves

time

Use synonyms

Internet

Add an article

The Internet

show examples

provides a platform for convenient shopping to billions of

people

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across the world.

That is

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to say, customers can purchase any item from any part of the planet within a few seconds.

Moreover

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people

Use synonyms

can easily choose their desired products from a large variety of items available on different websites. Manufacturing details and prices are given with every item, which makes it easier for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

Use synonyms

to buy products

according to

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their taste and affordability. To give an example, Amazon’s website displays hundreds of products, with their details, which are accessible to

people

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all over the world. Online shopping saves customers’

time

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that

Correct word choice

and

show examples

can be used on productive activities.

People

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do not have to walk or drive to the shopping malls,

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instead

Add a comma

instead,

show examples

they can purchase different items from their own homes, and

thus

Linking Words

save

time

Use synonyms

In addition

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to that, online shopping is

cost effective

Add a hyphen

cost-effective

show examples

in terms of fuel consumption. It is not only beneficial for consumers

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apply

show examples

but

also

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for the conservation of natural resources.

For example

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, in the UK, at least twenty pounds are spent on fuel to go to the nearest shopping mall.

To conclude

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, online shopping is a better alternative to shopping at stores because it is not only convenient, but

also

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saves

time

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and energy.

Submitted by 2024successielts on Fri Dec 01 2023

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coherence cohesion

Include a wider range of cohesive devices and transition words to improve the logical flow of the essay.

coherence cohesion

Develop paragraphs with more supporting details to enhance the argument and provide a deeper analysis.

task achievement

Ensure a clear thesis statement is presented in the introduction to define the essay's stance clearly.

task achievement

Present a balanced argument by discussing potential negatives alongside the positives you've listed, even if you ultimately agree with the statement.

task achievement

Include more varied and detailed examples to support points made, which can also help the essay appear more persuasive and well-researched.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

237 words

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Nowadays it has become increasingly popular to shop online rather than too shop in-store. Is this a positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

You have recently purchased a piece of furniture, but you noticed a problem when it was delivered to you. Write a letter to the store manager and say what is the problem? how did it happen in your opinion? What do you suggest the manager should do to resolve the problem?

Some parents nowadays put more pressure on their children to succeed. Why? Negative or positive?

Some people feel that boarding schools (where students or pupils live at the school during the term) are an excellent option for children, while other people disagree for a number of reasons. Consider both sides of this debate and reach a conclusion.