Nowadays it has become increasingly popular to shop online rather than too shop in-store. Is this a positive or negative development?

#shop #development

Nowadays online shopping is preferred over buying goods at shops.

This

essay agrees that

this

is a positive development because it is convenient,

cost effective

Add a hyphen

cost-effective

show examples

and saves

time

Internet

Add an article

The Internet

show examples

provides a platform for convenient shopping to billions of

people

across the world.

That is

to say, customers can purchase any item from any part of the planet within a few seconds.

Moreover

people

can easily choose their desired products from a large variety of items available on different websites. Manufacturing details and prices are given with every item, which makes it easier for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

to buy products

according to

their taste and affordability. To give an example, Amazon’s website displays hundreds of products, with their details, which are accessible to

people

all over the world. Online shopping saves customers’

time

that

Correct word choice

and

show examples

can be used on productive activities.

People

do not have to walk or drive to the shopping malls,

instead

Add a comma

instead,

show examples

they can purchase different items from their own homes, and

thus

save

time

In addition

to that, online shopping is

cost effective

Add a hyphen

cost-effective

show examples

in terms of fuel consumption. It is not only beneficial for consumers

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

for the conservation of natural resources.

For example

, in the UK, at least twenty pounds are spent on fuel to go to the nearest shopping mall.

To conclude

, online shopping is a better alternative to shopping at stores because it is not only convenient, but

also

saves

time

and energy.

Submitted by 2024successielts on Fri Dec 01 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Include a wider range of cohesive devices and transition words to improve the logical flow of the essay.

coherence cohesion

Develop paragraphs with more supporting details to enhance the argument and provide a deeper analysis.

task achievement

Ensure a clear thesis statement is presented in the introduction to define the essay's stance clearly.

task achievement

Present a balanced argument by discussing potential negatives alongside the positives you've listed, even if you ultimately agree with the statement.

task achievement

Include more varied and detailed examples to support points made, which can also help the essay appear more persuasive and well-researched.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS writing?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

237 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
You will take a short holiday in London next month and would like to spend some time with a friend who lives there. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, •Tell him when you will be in London and why •Ask him for recommendations of what to do there •Suggest some things you can do together You should write at least 150 words You do NOT need to write any addresses
I hope you are doing well in London. It's been a while since we met each other. Actually, I am writing this letter to let you know about next month, I have a plans to visit in your city for small vacation and spend some time with each other.
6
band
Many people are now opting to provide technology companies with their personal data in-exchange for access to software. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
It is often argued that people are sharing their personal information online in order to gain access to programs that are developed by technological companies. In my opinion, I believe that it has many demerits because of the prevailing trend in cyberbullying and the spread of misinformation in our digital age. This essay will discuss both the advantages and the disadvantages as well as my viewpoint in detail with relevant examples.
7
band
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
In various cultures, children are often encouraged to believe that they can achieve anything if they work hard enough. This message carries both advantages and disadvantages.
7.5
band
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
In recent years, many human health issues have been caused by utilizing goods and beverages that include an enormous amount of sugar. Sugary goods should be more pricey, and individuals should avoid using them. I completely agree with the aforementioned view, and this essay will support why I agree with the statement.
7
band
some people believe that it is better to accept the bad situation, such as unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. others argue that it is better to imprve such situations.
Every individual has different acceptance levels of their current situation. Some people are of the opinion that, it is better to accept difficult circumstances while others advocate attempts to work hard and overcome such situations. In the scope of this essay, both views will be thoroughly discussed. Personally, I side with the latter view.

Nowadays it has become increasingly popular to shop online rather than too shop in-store. Is this a positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many people are now opting to provide technology companies with their personal data in-exchange for access to software. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

some people believe that it is better to accept the bad situation, such as unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. others argue that it is better to imprve such situations.