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Band 4

Traffic congestion is a serious problem in many countries in the world. Identify one or two problems ang suggest some solutions.

#traffic #congestion #countries #world #two #ang
Traffic
 jam is a significant trouble in several countries
in
Change preposition
around
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 the globe.
Although
 there are some seemingly unavoidable
problems
 of
this
 trend,they could be addressed by
government
Add an article
the government
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 by taking proper actions.
Undoubtly
Correct your spelling
Undoubtedly
,there are two obvious
problems
 resulting from
traffic
jams
. First of all ,one of the serious
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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 is air pollution in choke-full cities.when there are a lot of cars , factories,
greenhouses
Correct word choice
and greenhouses
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what
Correct word choice
that
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 releasing a lot of harmful gas into the air.
As a result
 of air pollution,various harmful diseases spread among
people
 and health
problems
 increase among
people
.
for
example
Add a comma
example,
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 asthma,
bronchitis
Correct word choice
and bronchitis
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 are two of them. Second of all ,
traffic
jams
 cause unpleasant noises. Because the cars in the
traffic
jams
 are honking loudly.and
then
people
 be disturbed
from
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by
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 unpleasant tones.
for
Capitalize word
For
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 example
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 go to the university every day morning and
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 am always stuck in congestion.
This
 situation annoyed me.
However
,certain actions could be taken to tackle the
problems
 above.First and foremost public transport needs to be reliable and efficient.
due to
 public
transports
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transport
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are
Wrong verb form
being
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 comfortable and frequent use of public transport will
drammatically
Correct your spelling
dramatically
 reduce
traffic
 congestion. So underground railways carry thousands of
people
 every day.
Besides
 that in order to reduce
traffic
jams
 we should change our vehicles .
People
 should
to
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apply
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use bicycles or
hoverboard
Fix the agreement mistake
hoverboards
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for
Change preposition
apply
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to go to work.
As a result
, congestion is reduced by workers or students.
In
addition
Add a comma
addition,
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 the health of the population will
also
 improve In conclusion,
however
 threatening the
problems
 are ,they can be resolved or , at least , lessened by taking all the necessary steps to mitigate the issues
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
 Words 265
Submitted by yoqubjonovjamshidbek23 on

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coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present but lack clarity and do not effectively present the topic or the writer's position. Ensure the introduction clearly sets the context and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points.
coherence cohesion
Main points are present but not well-developed or elaborated. When presenting problems or solutions, provide clear sentences and fully develop each point for better understanding.
task achievement
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task achievement
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task achievement
Specific examples are lacking or underdeveloped. Use relevant and concrete examples to support your points and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the issues addressed in the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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